Undecided
by Rae1
Summary: Daisuke angst. Yaoi, suicide, no deaths. Higher rating do to language and really bad insults. Romance in the end. Complete.
1.

Author's note: Nothing much to say. I haven't decided yet what this is going to be. Probably yaoi and yuri (read warning). I might even make myself right a....gulp.... Kenyako. Ugh, I said it. HELP ME!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I don't own the characters. I only screw with their sexuality for my own perverse pleasure and enjoyment. Damn, this is fun!  
  
Warning: I don't know what this contains, but be prepared for yaoi or yuri, because that's what I like and what I read. Deal with it, or get lost. This is what happens when you write the warning before the fic. Flames start the fire for my place in heaven. Ask my sister:)  
  
___________________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: UH, I don't know yet  
Content: See line above.  
  
Daisuke shut the door to his room and laid down on the bed. Chibimon came up and silently nuzzled his cheek. "'suke? What's happened?"  
  
Tears threatening, the boy just shook his head. His little blue digimon didn't ask again. Instead, he hopped away into the darkened corner of Daisuke's room. There, he looked at Patomon who was hiding.   
  
Takeru had come over earlier on in the day to talk to the leader of the younger digi-destined, only to find his brother Matt already there. They had had a long conversation between the three of them before Jun or the Motomiya parents came home. Then all hell had broken loose, forcing Patomon and Chibimon to seek out the protection of Daisuke's room.   
  
The brunette fell asleep, a single tear making its way down his tanned cheek. Chibimon opened the window, and gestured for Patomon to make his escape. "Please, tell T.K. what happened. Maybe he can help!"  
  
"I will, don't worry!" Then the little orange digimon flew out of the window and into the night. It took him several minutes to find the home of his own boy. When he did, he wasted no time in alerting Takeru to the fact that he was there. The blonde pulled his partner into the room and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Oh, T.K.! You shouldn't have left! Davis's father got real mad and hit him. Then they yelled at him a lot, before he hit him again. And Jun just stood there!" The little digimon was shaking in delayed reaction to all that he witnessed.  
  
"What happened? We were just sitting there, and then his dad came in and told us to leave. Why?" They looked at each other in confusion, then turned as Yamato came into the room.  
  
"I just got off the phone with Tai, who spoke with Kari, who spoke with Miyako, who spoke with Daisuke this morning. Anyway, I guess that Daisuke's been failing two of his classes. When his parents found out, they went to talk to him, but he wasn't in his room. What they found instead was his diary."  
  
"What did it say?" Takersu sat down on his bed cross-legged and watched his brother anxiously.  
  
"Nobody knows. Just that whatever it was, it seriously pissed off his parents. They left to go look for him, but he returned home. They finally made it back, and found us there. That's as far as anyone knows. Except, that they went to Ken's, and had a long talk with his parents, too. But nobody's spoken with Ken, and we can't get a hold of either of them now."  
  
"This doesn't look good, Matt. Maybe we should go back over there." The older blonde shook his head.  
  
"Just wait until tomorrow. You can talk to him during class. And I can skip out at lunch to go talk to Ken. Don't worry too much until you know what's really going on. Keep your hope, Take-chan. We may need it."  
  
"You're right. Until tomorrow, brother. Good night."  
  
"Good night, little brother. Sleep well."  
  
  
  
  
Takeru looked at Daisuke the next morning and frowned. His friend had a split lip and a black eye. *I guess Patomon was right, his dad did hit him!* He gestured to Hikari, and pointed at Daisuke. She frowned and shrugged. He shook his head and turned as the teacher started the lesson.  
  
After class, T. K. ran to catch up with Daisuke in the hallway. The other boy wouldn't meet his eyes. "Hey, Dai! Wait up a sec, please!" The brunette slowed down, his gaze resting on the ground. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing." His voice was flat and expressionless. The usual sparkle and excitement was totally gone for the first time since Takeru had known him. "Excuse me, Takaishi. I have to get to class."  
  
"Hey, Dai! Meet me outside for lunch, 'kay?" The other boy just nodded and walked away. T.K. sighed. "Man!"  
  
"Did you find out what the matter was?" He shook his head at Hikari. "It's bad though isn't it? He looked horrible this morning. His dad really did a job on him. I really want to know what was in that diary. Maybe then, we could help him."  
  
"Kari! That's a great idea. I can send Patomon to his house to get it. Chibimon's there! You're a genius! Later!"  
  
"Sure, T.K. Whatever you say." She watched her friend run off and headed for her own class.  
  
  
  
Matt waited for the bell at Ken's school to announce lunch. When it finally rang, he had to wait another five minutes for a familiar, blue-haired boy to come outside, and see him at the gates.   
  
"Ishida? Why are you here?" Ken's voice was curious, and more that a little worried.  
  
"I just needed to talk to you. About Daisuke." The younger boy nodded in understanding. "Can you spare a few minutes? Or will you get in trouble for being over here?"  
  
Slipping between the gates, Ken smiled slightly. "I can't get in trouble if they can't see me. I guess you heard that they found his journal? I thought as much. I'm also assuming that you don't know what was in it?"  
  
"Two points, genius. I'm just trying to help. Takeru and I were over there when his parents came home. They wasted no time in kicking us out. The last I heard, his dad had hit him. We got that from Patomon when he finally made it home to T.K.'s. He got stuck in his room."  
  
Another nod. "I don't know what he wrote. His dad came, thinking that I would know where he was. He spoke briefly to my mom and dad, and then left. They asked me if I knew where he was, and then they excused themselves for the night. I don't know what was said."  
  
"Thanks for talking to me, Ken. I appreciate it. I'll call you if we figure out what's going on."  
  
"Thank you. Same here. Goodbye, Ishida."  
  
Matt smiled at the other's formality. "Bye, Ichijouji."  
  
  
Takeru stood in the shade of a tree, waiting impatiently while Daisuke ambled slowly toward him. When the brunette finally reached him, T.K .was in a state of extreme agitation.   
  
"Okay, Motomiya, let's get the ball rolling. What did you write that so pissed off your parents? What happened when we left? And what exactly are you going home to, tonight?"  
  
"Gosh, T.J. Why don't you start the interrogation with the hard questions?" There was no anger or real feeling behind the comeback. Just a sense of resignation. Takeru felt himself losing his faith in his ability to pull his friend back from whatever ledge he was on.  
  
"Sorry, Dai. I've just been really worried. You look like hell, and you seem..."  
  
"Lifeless!" Hikari walked up to them quickly and looked Daisuke in the eye. He just watched her with blank eyes. "What happened, Dai-chan? Tell us, please! We're really worried."  
  
"Why not wait until Patomon gets back with my diary? Oh, wait. Chibimon brought it to me first. Oops." Now his voice was edged with the barest hint of anger. *Maybe I can work on that!* T.K. thought.  
  
"Spill it, Dai." Kari looked at him wordlessly as his voice turned hard. A single dark eyebrow raised threateningly. Then brown eyes narrowed.  
  
"Simply put: I hate my parents and I wish I didn't have to put up with them. I secretly plan ways to kill my sister, and myself. I'm also gay, which is the reason behind the lip. The eye is because I stole a hundred dollars from my father after Christmas." Two pairs of wide eyes regarded him in stunned silence. "Now that I've shut you up, we can drop this. As for what I go home to. My father won't lay a hand on me ever again. We've reached an...understanding."  
  
He walked away and his friends looked at each other. Neither of them had ever seen that cold unmerciful glint in his eyes before. He had spoken with suck calm frankness, that he might have been discussing the weather. The warning bell rang and they walked back to the building without a word.  
  
  
  
"So, what did you find out?" Yamato had picked Takeru up from school and was giving him a ride home.   
  
"It's not good. Dai totally freaked out Kari and I today. I asked him to meet me at lunch, and then I had this bright idea to bring his diary here, so I sent Patomon to his house. Exveemon gave it to Dai instead. He barely reacted to anything until he exploded."  
  
Pulling out of the parking lot and setting out for the Takaishi apartment, Matt looked at his brother. "And?"  
  
"And Dai's gay, suicidal, homicidal, and may be on the verge of scaring his parents and everyone else silly. He used to seem so... dopey and innocent, like he was too out of it to be a threat to anything for anything. Except to the Kaizer, but that's been a while. Today, though, he was..."  
  
"Frightening?" The other boy nodded as his brother supplied the word. "Maybe we've all been so caught up in our own lives that we haven't bothered trying to see beneath all that he puts on show."  
  
"You're right, of course. I think that I'm going to go back over there today. He said something really odd, about him and his father having an understanding. Just the way he said it, so tonelessly, has me worried. Maybe I can get him to open up."  
  
"I think you'd best take Ken with you. They are best friends. And he'll want to talk to Dai, too. And maybe Kari. That way his parent's won't think that you're there to date him." The blonde smiled slightly.  
  
"Yama-san. That wasn't funny." Blue eyes looked into blue as they both stifled their laughter. "You are right, of course. Again. Maybe you and Tai should come, too. He idolizes him...You don't think that maybe....?"  
  
"That he might like Taichi? It's possible. We won't know unless we ask him, though. I'll call Yagami, you call Ichijouji, and we'll try to be there at five. The sooner the better. For once, I don't have band practice."  
  
"Good plan. Bye, Matt." They pulled in front of the apartment complex, and said their good-byes. "Five o'clock."  
  
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This is contest info. Also available on my Taito, Only One:  
  
  
Rules:  
1. It must be Digimon  
2.It must contain yaoi. That doesn't mean it has to center around it, but it should contain at least one yaoi/yuri mention.  
3.It must be titled "the one who loved me"  
4.It does NOT have to be a songfic  
5. No poetry (sorry)  
6. It must bash at least one girl (not including Jun, or Miyako)  
7. No Daisuke bashing  
8. Must include the phrase "This is the scariest thing I've ever seen. Except Tweety-bird and Mr. Rogers."  
  
  
The winner can have a fic with whatever coupling and rating they want, excluding, sorry, cross-breeding. I am up for the challenge, but  
please, make it something you want to read.  
  
  
Send notification of fic entry to raegan_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
  



	2. 

Author's note: I will have a title by the time I post this, but none of the fics will actually have it written in them for a while. I'm too lazy to go back and change them, since I've already edited half, not all, of my chapters and stories at least three times. I miss things. Deal.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters.  
  
Warning: possible yaoi and/or yuri. Maybe, maybe not. Sorry for those that wanted the opposite of what I choose. Deal. Flames feed the fire for my place in eternity. Ask my sister:)  
  
__________________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: undecided  
Content: possible yaoi, cussing is a definite.  
  
Mr. Motomiya opened his front door at five o'clock that evening to find five teenagers in the hallway. Ken greeted him because he had spent the most time at Daisuke's house. "Hello, Mr. Motomiya, sir. We've come to speak with Dai if we may."  
  
"Come in, Ken, everyone. He's back in his room. And please, don't...upset him. He's having a rough time right now, and he needs all the support he can get." They looked at the middle-aged man in stunned silence as his eyes filled with tears and he went into the kitchen to his wife.   
  
"This way." Ken lead them into the back of the apartment and knocked on the door to their friend's room. There was no reply. Jun opened the door across the hall, looked at them all, then opened his door for them. The room beyond was dark and quiet.  
  
They all stepped inside and Ken shut the door and turned on the light. Daisuke sat in a chair by the window, just gazing unblinkingly at the ceiling. They looked at each other in concern and Takeru stepped toward him.  
  
"Don't bother, T.K. I know you're here." His gaze never left the ceiling as he broke the silence with those words. There was no emotion at all behind them. They echoed hollowly throught the room and died.   
  
Nobody said or did anything. This had seemed like a good plan in theory, but the action was a lot harder. It was the young brunette who broke the silence again. "The soccor star, the musician, the basketball star, the genius, and the princess. Courage, Friendship, Hope, Kindess, and Light. Welcome. Have a seat."  
  
That time, his voice had been mocking and caustic. "If I didn't know better, Dai, I'd think you were auditioning for the part of the Kaizer." Ken walked toward him and sat on a corner of the bed. The others didn't dare move.  
  
"Wouldn't that be ironic. I fought the Digimon Kaizer heart and soul, and now I've begun to act like him. Very fitting, don't you think?" There was a sneer behind the words.  
  
"I think that I'm about five seconds away from kicking your ass for the hell of it Daisuke." Takeru squared his shoulders and glared at his friend. "Now stop looking at the damn ceiling and face me."  
  
Brown eyes met his, and Kari gasped at the emptiness she saw. Tai and Matt looked at each other, uncertain of exactly what was going on. Davis happened to look up and catch the look passed between them. "Not exactly what you guys expected to find?"  
  
"Dai. Suke. Look at me." Takeru's voice was hard and cold, reminiscent of his attitude during the Kamerimon incident in which he had met the Kaizer face-to-face. The brunetted complied.  
  
"Yes, T.K.?" That was twice that he had gotten his name right. They held contact for several minutes, and when he had finally about given up, Takeru saw a little glimmer beneath the blank surface. There had been fear.  
  
"I think that you and I should take this outside. Just you and I. Now." He could feel the anger begin to fill him and take over. There wasn't a doubt in his head that he could take the other boy easily.  
  
"Sorry. Can't manage that today. Try again tomorrow." And then Dai turned his eyes back to the ceiling. Kari placed a hand on Takeru's shoulder and he looked at her. He had just lost the first round, and he hadn't even realized that the game had begun. She tilted her head toward the door, and he followed her out.  
  
Matt walked to stand in front of Daisuke. "Come on, Dai. Taichi and I will buy you ice cream. Whatever kind you want. Let's go!"  
  
"Sorry, Ishida. My life is not ruled by my stomach. I think that you and your little boyfriend, congratulations by the way, should go on without me. I don't feel like going anywhere right now."  
  
Matt drew back and glanced at his boyfriend. They had been so careful to keep it hidden from everyone else, for fear of their reactions. How the hell had Daisuke found out? Tai shrugged and opened the door to join his sister and T.K. Matt followed and shut the door, leaving Ken and Daisuke alone.  
  
They sat in silence, neither saying a word. Ken didn't quite know what was going on, but he had just learned that anger and bribery weren't going to work. He too had seen the flash of fear in Dai's eyes, before he had turned them back to the ceiling. Thinking quickly, he left the room and stepped into the bathroom. The others looked at him questionignly, but he waved them away.  
  
When he reentered the room, the rest came back in with him, curious. He pulled a chair in to sit directly in front of his friend, and sat down. He didn't say a word, just sat there. Kari tapped her foot impatiently, the boys just leaned against the wall and looked back and forth.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Daisuke brought his gaze down to meet a pair of violet eyes. They stared at each other without blinking, their eyes blank and unreadable. Takeru held his breath until he felt light headed, but still they didn't move. It was a staring contest, a battle of wills. And no-one was certain if the former Kaizer could hold out against Daisuke. Nothing was certain anymore.  
  
Out of boredom, Tai turned on the radio on Dai's desk. Matt and T.K. jumped, but the other two boys didn't take any notice. Mr. Ishida came to the door that they hadn't shut and looked on curiously. Not understanding what was going on, he quickly left.  
  
Frustrated, Kari walked up so that she was to the side of both of them. Theire gazes never wavered. "I would like to say, that right now, YOU'RE BOTH PSYCHOTIC!" Tai smiled at his sister's outburst. Again, no reaction from the competitors. "Come on, you two. You can't do this all day! Your eyes will dry out."  
  
Ken reached his hand into his pocket without looking away and handed something to the girl. She took it, looked at it, and burst out laughing. Takeru, Taichi, and Yamato came over to look, and cracked up. It was a bottle of eye moisturizer, used to reduce dryness of the eyes.  
  
Curiosity giving over, Daisuke broke contact with Ken to look at the bottle in her hands. He looked at it, stunned, while the others continued to laugh. Ken regarded him with narrow eyes, his expression closed off.  
  
"Way to go, Ken! Good work." Tai clapped him on the back, making the other boy jerk forward. On instinct, Ken grabbed the older boy's wrist and turned. They ended up with Tai lying face-first on the floor, his arm twisted behind his back.   
  
Coming out of his trance, Ken shook his head and got up, apologizing profusely. Tai waved him away with an easy smile and a request to learn how to do that. Blushing, violet eyes looked back into the brown of his best friend. Without warning, Dai ran out of the room.  
  
"What did I just miss?" Matt looked at Ken in complete confusion. Something had just happened, and they had missed it.  
  
"He's hurting. I don't know why, just that he is. And throught the pain comes anger and hate. Hate at a world that would put so much fear into one so young. He needs something. Support, understanding, I don't know, but he needs it fast."  
  
"He's out of the shell. We have to find him while his defenses are low." Hikari joined in. The five ran out of the room and asked his father and sister if they knew where he had went. She suggested the soccer field, which seemed logical, given his love of the game. They raced off, praying for enought time to find him before he did something.   
  
Chibimon heard as they left the apartment. He had taken the journal to Davis first, because he hadn't wanted the sad boy to be upset by the book again. But it had backfired, because he had come home even more agitated than before. And now he was gone, running away from his partner and his friends.   
  
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End note: I'm really starting to wonder about poor Daisuke. I don't have any idea where this is heading, so please, just hang on. I included yaoi, for those you who enjoy it. For those that don't, I did warn you. It's not the center of the story, and it won't be. This is about poor, poor Dai-chan. 


	3. 

Author's note: Is anyone confused? I hope not. This will be wrapped up shortly, but the ending is unknown even to me. If this is the end, check for the end note. I'll write if it is to be continued or not.  
  
Dislcaimer: See chap. one  
  
Warning: See previous chapters  
  
________________________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: undecided  
Content: yaoi referencing.  
  
Davis was standing in the middle of the soccer field, watching the clouds roll by as the sun shone brightly down. His friends found him standing there in a relaxed pose as if nothing was going on.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He asked them as they approached from behind. "It really is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the air is alive with the smells of food vendors."  
  
They looked at each other in confusion. He had gone from being calm and empty, to anger, and now to a normalcy that seemed out of place with earlier events.  
  
He went on in that soft tone. "It's a day for fishing, or swimming. A day when couples can get lost on park trails, and a young boy can bleed to death in his bathroom, or a young baby can try it's first ice cream."  
  
It took them a moment to catch it, he had slipped it in so naturally. He turned to smile at them, his eyes cold, the grin feral. Takeru reevaluated his earlier offer, and realized that he might not be able to win against Dai. Kari was considering running away. She didn't like to deal with darkness, but she couldn't just leave him.  
  
Tai and Matt were standing back from the rest. Out of the five, they had less to do with Davis, and less understanding.   
  
"I don't suppose that anyone has a piece of gum?" He looked at them, one by one, and they shook their heads. "Didn't think so. My mouth is kind of dry."  
  
He looked back up at the sky, his face softening. His shoulders slumped and he sighed quietly. Ken approached and stood next to him, T.K. took the other side. Kari backed off and waited with her brother and Matt.  
  
"It's really hard sometimes." He spoke sadly. They waited for him to go on. Their previous tactics had failed, and they were left without backup plans. "There are times that I don't want to see you guys, because you are all a part of it."  
  
"You -can- talk to us, Dai. We'll stand by you, no matter what." T.K. said it strongly, his words forceful. He meant it. He, at least, would stand beside him, and he knew Ken would also.  
  
"My life is simply a living, lying hell. There is no relief from the charade that I have enacted. There is no escaping the act and the facade. The fakeness." His words were slow, carefully chosen. He had a point to make, and he wished to make it with eloquence.  
  
"I wake up each day, and am instantly insulted and yelled at by my sister. It's not her fault, she doesn't realize what it does." He defended her from himself. "Then my parents. They ignore me, and pretend that I'm not there most of the time. When they do speak to me, it's to yell at me for doing something, or for not doing something. They don't say a word, otherwise."  
  
Ken nodded. He had seen it for himself. Whenever he visited the Motomiya home, he and Jun were chatted to death, but they wouldn't speak to their son unless necessary. That was something he doubted he would ever get over.  
  
"At school, I have 'friends'. I don't mean you guys when I say this. Growing up, I was picked on pretty badly. The bullies beat me up, and the others teased me for it. That's why I became this way. It was my defense against the world, my shell to hide in. I could ignore the pain behind a stupid joke."  
  
He swallowed convulsively around the lump in his throat. His brown eyes held unshed tears. His voice was quiet. "Then we went to the digital world. It was great at first. I thought that I might have a second chance to reinvent myself. But I was stuck with first impressions and a bad rep as an irresponsible goof."  
  
A mental image made him smile. "So I proclaimed myself leader of the digi-destined, and started leading us around in circles. After a while, I slipped behind the mask and couldn't come back up again. I had finally cracked. Veemon tried to talk to me, but I wasn't very nice when we were alone. He stayed."  
  
A single tear escaped and he closed his eyes. "I wanted so badly to be real friends with you, but I couldn't seem to stop putting my foot in my mouth, and trying to kill us."  
  
"School was hell, home was hell, and the digital world was hell." He laughed humorlessly. Takeru put out a hand and sat it gently on his arm, not knowing what to say.  
  
After a moment, T.K. spoke, very seriously, saying, "You speak big words. Me impressed." Dai gave a watery laugh. "You should have opened up sooner, Dai. We're here for you, whether you want us to be or not. It might have been hard, but we like you."  
  
The brunetted nodded and looked at Ken out of the corner of his eye. Ken caught the look and smiled tenderly. "You know where I stand."  
  
"Yeah, I do." Dai smiled. "And you don't." Without being given a chance to ask what that meant, Davis swept out his foot and knocked Ken down, grabbing the lapels of his jacket to ease the fall. "You cheated, which is bad form for a genius. You owe me an apology."  
  
Takeru laughed as Dai sat on the other boy's chest, locking his arms at his side. Tai, Matt, and Kari looked on in confusion as the three started laughing together. Kari looked at the older two. "What did I miss?"  
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End note: This is NOT the end. I plan on writing in my happy ending, so suffer. I don't think that this was really all that good, so I would like to thank all those people that hung in there. Thank you. 


	4. 

Author's note: The end? Maybe. Maybe not. If you're reviewing from this chapter, respond with one of the following: Good Bad Horrible Okay or my fave 'Rae, you are an absolute genius. I love you, please continue'. If you really like this, and have a possible ending, since it is yaoi, you can also add: Kensuke Daiken Daikeru Takedai Or even Daiyako (if you don't know what yaoi is, this is probably your choice), or even Daishiro. Just leave Jyou and Tai out of it. I won't object to a Yamasuke, either, but that's as odd of a couple as Daichi.   
  
Disclaimer: Fanfiction. Fiction. Fan. Get it? Don't own. Am fan. Is fiction. (obviously, since they're cartoons (sorry, anime)).  
  
Warning: yaoi reference and possible coupling. Maybe. Maybe not  
  
___________________________  
  
Author: Rae  
Title: Undecided (Yes, that is the title now)  
Content: angst, drama, and yaoi (whoopee)  
  
Daisuke rolled off of Ken and laid back on the grass. It really was a beautiful day, and now that he'd had his confession, he felt better. A lot better than he had for a long while.  
  
Takeru was looking down at the blue-haired boy, and the brunette next to him with raised eyebrows. They were both smiling happily as they stared up at him from the ground. He could understand Ken feeling happy at finally helping Dai, but he couldn't grasp the other boy's mood swings.  
  
"I give." He announced to his friends. "If I had known that we only had to let you tackle Ken, we could have gotten to this point sooner." He closed his mouth as he realized exactly what he had said. He had put the fact that Dai was gay to the back of his mind without really thinking about it. He was thinking now.  
  
And so, obviously, was Ken, since he jumped up from the ground quickly and stood next to T.K. Daisuke watched them both through hooded eyes, the smile on his face mocking. "I'm not about to jump you, so get over yourselves. Both of you." He pushed himself to his feet, and waved at Kari, her brother, and Matt. They walked over and joined them.  
  
"So, everything's good now? We're all getting along again?" Hikari eyed them suspiciously. The three boys grinned back at her, causing her to step toward her brother. In a mock-whisper, she told Tai, "I'm scared. Very scared."  
  
Ken dusted his pants off, and Dai made to sweep the dirt of the back of his jacket. He stopped when his friend seemed to freeze in place. With a smirk, he waved at T.K. to do the honors instead. When Dai went to walk away, Ken put a hand on his arm and stopped him.  
  
"Sorry, Dai." The other boy shrugged. "Don't pretend it doesn't matter! You said that you were done. Now turn around." The other boy complied. "Close your eyes." Eyelids drooped over piercing brown eyes.   
  
A second later, Dai was lying flat on his back again. He looked up in stunned surprise as Ken sat on his chest. "That wasn't very nice."  
  
Ken laughed, pushing his hair back from his face. "I know. It wasn't any nicer when you did it to me. Now, if you say you're sorry, and say it nicely, I'll let you up."  
  
The brunette hesitated, and then grinned naughtily. "What if I don't want up?" Ken paled, then flushed bright red. He didn't know whether to get up and run, or stay there so that he knew Dai was harmless.  
  
Takeru and Hikari were laughing. Tai and Matt were hiding their smiles by looking away. Ken was the only one not finding the situation funny. "That's not fair."  
  
"I don't play fair." Davis admitted it huskily, his smile slowly fading as his friend made no move to get up. "Can I get up now?"  
  
Ken thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "You have to apologize first. That's the deal." The brunette was surprised. He had felt certain that his little comment would send Ken shooting away from him. Feeling decidedly uncomfortable, Davis said sorry.   
  
The older boy rolled off of him and stood beside Kari. Dai stood up and glared at everybody for a moment before grinning. "You all came out here to see me? Is it my birthday? Or did I win a prize and forget about it?" His voice was sounded like normal, highly excited and slightly annoying.  
  
Everyone relaxed a little. It seemed that they had gotten him over it, or he'd gotten over it himself. Either way, he seemed to have moved on. He chose that moment to kneel down, lean over, and vomit. Kari leaned down to pull his hair back. Nobdy else moved. When he was done, he coughed a little bit, and wiped at his mouth with his sleeve.  
  
"Are you okay?" Tai squatted down, and leaned over to look at his face. With a pointed glance down, Dai sat back, his strength leaving him. "All right, stupid question. Are you done?"  
  
"For now." He laid down on the grass, an arm over his eyes. "I think that I'm starting to like it down here. Soft grass, warm sun. Vomit and flowers perfuming the air."  
  
Matt, for the most part, hadn't done really anything, so he felt obligated to do something now. That's what happens when you get stuck in the melodrama of someone else's life. He tapped Dai on the amr and held out his arm. "Come on, we owe you ice cream. We'll even put antacids and cherries on top."  
  
The younger boy let himself be pulled to his feet. His friends were being extremely nice, but he was feeling resentful towards them. They had invaded his privacy, intended to read his journal, and just wouldn't leave him alone in general. For the first time in a while, he knew that he wasn't alone.  
  
(a/n: shoot me now for the sap. I can't help it, it's ingrained. I was raised on it, I swear.)  
  
Takeru put an arm around his shoulders. "Think of it this way. You now have more room for food than you did before. And since Tai and Matt are paying, we'll make them take you to the all-you-can-eat-buffet." Kari nodded in agreement as they started walking in a group.  
  
"I think that I'll settle for ice cream. I don't really feel like actual food, for some reason." He smiled at them, his grin genuine. "But I can't right now. Maybe tomorrow."   
  
They thought about it, but it was Ken who agreed. "We'll pick you up at noon and feed you then. That way, you won't have to eat whatever your mom cooks." They laughed together, then Ken explained to the others. "His mom doesn't cook very well. She tries all these wierd recipes that call for ingredients like snails and caramel sauce."  
  
They made appropriate gagging noises. Dai looked ready to vomit again. "Today, she made maki rolls, but she put chocolate sauce in them." He shuddered at the memory. "And she made green tea, and used soda instead of water. I don't know how she does it, but whatever comes from the kitchen is normally messed up."  
  
They started walking toward Davis's apartment with him. Ken continued to illustrate the lack of cooking genes in the Motomiya family by telling about the single time that Jun had cooked for them. "I swear, I'll never look at teriyaki pork the same again." The others laughed, including Dai. At the door to the lobby, they separated, leaving Dai to go upstairs alone.  
  
Ken trailed behind the others, his brain not registering their conversation, as it had moved on to mundane, every day events. "And then the teacher told teh class to write a poem about the thing they wanted most. I did mine on peace, in both worlds. Dai refused at first to go up and present his."  
  
That drew his attention back to Kari, who continued. "He gave her this really mean look, but walked to the front anyway. Then, he seemed to shake it off, and did this little fluffy poem that you could tell he wasn't reading from his paper. The teacher didn't seem to notice, so he got a passing grade. I've been thinking about it since then, and I'd really like to find that poem, but I don't want to ask him for it."  
  
Takeru nodded. "That's why I was over there the other day, when his parents came home. I wanted to talk to him about it to. He had been acting really odd lately, and I was going to try to help." They were explaining it to Tai, who had been dragged into the middle of it. This was the first that anybody had told him that something was amiss.  
  
"I think that we should get him out of the apartment first, and then try talking to him again. He might be more receptive tomorrow. Tonight, though, we've gotten him over something, hopefully, so we can afford to wait." Matt waited for everyone to agree with him. He and Tai were holding hands, their openness causing both T.K. and Kari to smile tenderly at them.   
  
Daisuke had been right when he had called their relationship early that day. He could be a really observant person at times, given the right situation and attitude. It started Ken to thinking.  
  
*If he's so flaky and stupid as he appears half the time, then how could he see what I couldn't? I don't think that being gay makes it easier to find a closet couple, and he doesn't seem to be around Tai and Matt enough for them to have slipped. I wonder what else he's hiding, besides himself and his depression.*  
  
Hikari and Takeru were having similar thoughts about their friend. But the answers would wait, until they could get Dai to trust them like they had already thought he did, before the world changed its axis. There would be time. They hoped. 


	5. Further in the inferno

Author's note: This is to Starsnake, Nya, and Sandrock, who read and reviewed the first parts of this. I appreciate you responses. Thank you for suffering through my mumblings without complaint. This is part five, with a bit more angst, a lot of drama, tons of cussing and bad words. A drop of sap, not much, and a pissed off redhead. Violence.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own.  
  
Warning: Some gay-bashing. Okay, I get really vulgar with it, I'm sorry. Just skip over the whole dinner conversation, and start back in where Dai yells 'You bastard!" Yaoi, shounen-ai, and angst. Comments do not reflect the beliefs of the author. I have nothing against anybody, except the idiots who can't comprehend the phrase 'live and let live'.  
__________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi, gay-bashing (sorry, but it does happen)  
  
Daisuke shut the door to his apartment quietly behind him, but it was still heard by his parents, seated in the living room. "Davis."  
  
He walked in and stood in the doorway, looking at them with expressionless eyes, and a frown. "Yes, father?" His father was sitting on a chair, facing the television, and Daisuke. Jun and his mother sat on the couch. They looked back and forth between both males anxiously, not wanting a repeat of the night before.  
  
His father's voice was cold, no hint of the earlier tears. "I hope you're satisfied. Your little friends should believe that everything's fine within the next couple of days. I'll keep up my end of the bargain, if you keep up yours."  
  
"Of course, sir." He had threatened to call Child Services (a/n: I don't know if they have them in Japan, but if they don't, they do in this). He kept silent, as long as his father didn't touch him again. They would ignore each other as usual, Dai would repay the money he had stolen, and they'd stay out of each other's lives. Nothing changed. "Good night. Please excuse me from dinner."  
  
They didn't care whether he ate or not, they just went back to watching the T.V. Jun looked at him as he turned away. He missed the pain in her eyes, and her wince when his door shut with a silent click. "Excuse me, please, father?" He glanced at her, but shrugged. Her mother patted her arm. "I'll see you when supper is ready, mother."  
  
She went down the hallway, and stopped in front of his door, peeking over her shoulder to make sure her father didn't see her. She had always been their favorite, and she knew that she had made Dai's life as hard to bear as they had. She also knew that if her father thought that she was on Dai's side, she'd be in trouble.  
  
Without knocking, she pushed open the door, and walked into his room. He was sitting in the chair he had occupied earlier, his eyes on the far wall. She shut the door softly behind her. He glanced at her, his eyes watery. "Hey, Dai." She whispered.   
  
"Jun." His voice was equally low. There was no welcome in his voice, nothing to show that he cared that she was there. They looked at each other, their eyes equally moist.  
  
"I'm sorry." It came out on a sob. "I never meant for it to be this way. I'm sorry that I've never been there for you. That I've forgotten more times than not that you're human, too. I'm sorry that I took advantage of their attitude to pretend that you didn't exist, that you didn't matter."  
  
She broke down into tears as he watched her in stunned silence. He slowly stood up and walked to her. After a moment's hesitation, he put his arms around her and hugged her. She cried into his shoulders, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing with all her might. Their ages seemed to reverse as she poured out her tears in his arms. He was the older, the one meant to comfort, though that was a position that she'd never held.  
  
"It's okay." He was surprised to realize that he meant it. "I understand, Jun. It's okay, it'll all work out." He rubbed her back, as he lead her to his bed, and they sat on the edge of it. She continued to cry, and he rocked her back and forth like a child, though at eighteen, she had passed that stage a while ago.  
  
A while later, when her tears subsided, she pulled back, and rubbed at her face with her hands. She offered him a watery smile, sniffling. He smiled gently at her, and handed her a kleenex. He kept a box under his bed. Just in case.   
  
"Thank you. I don't deserve to be forgiven. No wonder you hate me." He shook his head in denial. "Okay, hated me. I've been so mean to you, always."  
  
"He rubbed her back. "This doesn't really change anything, Jun. If you're suddenly nice to me, he'll get mad, and then you'll be on the recieving end of his temper. Just go back to the way things were. I understand, and knowing that your heart isn't in it will help."  
  
"Thanks, again, Dai. I better go to my room. Mom will be in soon to announce dinner. I'll bring you something, in a little bit. I don't want you to starve, or get sick."  
  
"All right." He walked to the door, and cracked it open. The hallway was empty, and he could hear his mother and father talking in the living room. He waved her past him, and she had no sooner shut her door, when their mother entered the hallway. She ignored Daisuke, and knocked on Jun's door. The reply was muffled, but affirmative. Dai shut his door.  
  
He looked around, and picked up a small white bottle off the floor. It was the eye moisturizer that Ken had used earlier. He set it on the desk, and paused. Something was wrong, out of place. It took him a moment to realize that his radio was missing. He took a deep breath, praying for patience, not wanting to stomp out there to be hit again.  
  
It didn't work.   
  
He swung his door open with enough force to send it crashing into the wall, knocking several picture frames down in his room, and the hallway. He marched into the kitchen, his sock-covered feet silent on the carpet. His family, *what a laugh* was seated around the table. In slow, measured tones, he addressed his father. "Where. is. my. radio."  
  
There was a hush around the room, three pairs of eyes looking at him. One coldly, two with practiced disinterest. "Somebody left it on. That kind of irresponsibility is what leads to all kinds of trouble. So I took care of it."  
  
"Where. is. my. radio." He was breathing heavy, the air stifling in his lungs. His father continued to regard him with the frosty patience of one who must deal with all kinds of unpleasant things.  
  
"It's gone. In the trash." There was a sort of twisted amusement behind the words. Dai glared at him, wanting to shred him limb from limb, wishing that Veemon was there to do it for him.  
  
He blinked once, slowly, and then looked at his father with a calm expression. "You have never wanted me. You have ignored me since before I was old enough to be on my own, without supervision. You pretend that I don't exist, that I'm just a stranger who happens to live here. I've understood that you never wanted me. What I'm at a loss to explain is the fact that you didn't have an abortion, that you didn't give me away, that you haven't sent me off to a boarding school, someplace as far from you as possible."  
  
His mother and sister were eating, their eyes trained on their food. His father was regarding him like an insect on his windsheild. "Because that would dishonor our family name. All the Motomiya have born healthy children, children who graduate from Obaida High, and go on to the corporate world."  
  
Dai smirked at him. "Then I guess the fates must be laughing now, because you got stuck with me."  
  
His father snarled at him, his knuckles turning white on the silverware in his hands. "Yes, we got you. A worthless, pathetic, retarded fag. We should have used better protection, but shit happens. And that's all you are. Worthless shit, who likes it so much, he's going to go butt-fuck another boy, just to get more. You fucking fudge-packer! You're disgusting, do you know that?"  
  
His son just looked at him wordlessly. "Yeah, you stand there all mad, but what are you going to do, fag? Go jack-off to one of your little sports mangas? That's probably why you play sports, so you can fantasize about the guys on your team. And your little friend Ken! How many times have you dreamt about him? Are is he a sick fuck, too. Does he..."  
  
"You bastard!" In a flash, he was across the room. His father wasn't fast enough, and wasn't expecting the attack. In the time it took to register that Dai had moved, he was lying flat on his back, his chair overturned nearby, with a knife pressed to his throat. The female half of the Motomiya family was crying across the room, scared and uncertain about what was happening.  
  
There was food all over the floor, where Dai had leaped across the table to get to his father. He was straddling the other man, his eyes dark, angry, and full of hate. The hand that held the knife was steady, unnervingly so.  
  
"You bastard." He said it in a calmer tone, but with an undercurrent of pain and repressed emotion. "You have no idea, none at all, of what you're talking about. I've grown use to being your punching bag, both physically and emotionally, all of my life. But if you ever, ever, say anything about or to Ken, you and I will do more than match words. He is so beyond you, that you haven't the right to think his name, let alone slander it."  
  
The hand not holding the knife was curled in his father's hair, and he took a moment to grip it tighter, causing his father to wince. "We're going to get this straight, right now. My life is mine. Yours is yours. You don't touch me, my stuff, or my friends. When they are here, you will go about your business, but you will not ignore them. If they ask you a question, you will answer it. I don't expect you to be friendly, but you will not make them feel unwelcome."  
  
He loosened his hand, letting his father's head sink back into a more comfortable position, but keeping the blade pressed closed against his neck. "I won't force you to endure my company at the table, or anywhere else. My room will stay my room. The stuff in it stays. I -will- get my radio back. Phone calls will be posted on my door, and brought to my attention. My mail will remain on the table until I retrieve it. I will eat the food in this house, same as always, but not with you."  
  
He stood up, and backed away, tossing the knife to sit harmlessly on the table. Without another word, he left, returning to his room, and shutting the door with less force than before.  
  
For the rest of the evening, he laid on his bed, watching the outside lights flicker over the ceiling long after he had shut off his light. Jun didn't return as she had said she would, but he wasn't surprised. He doubted anyone in his family was wanting to see him at that point. But nobody arrived to arrest him, or take him away, and he didn't hear from his father again, so he counted himself lucky. He wouldn't have to deal with him for another day, at least.  
  
  
He didn't cry, not a single tear. Chibimon had crawled under the bed earlier, and had fallen asleep. When Dai came back from the kitchen, he curled up next to his partner, not speaking, for once, but letting his company be comfort enough. He didn't know what to say, anyways. Somethings went beyond words, even for the chatterbox.  
  



	6. Trouble doesn't wear a watch

Author's note: If anyone feels that I pushed the boundaries with the last part, email me, and I'll write you a personal letter of apology. On with the show. I've been playing with this idea about a songfic that isn't based on the lyrics of any one song, but on compilation of different lines from different songs. //radio//  
  
Dislcaimer: Don't own. Not the show, or the songs that I steal from in the following part.  
  
Warning: Yaoi, shounen-ai, angsty Dai-kun, and a very pushy little bishounen. Take a guess.   
  
_________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi and Dai* (in tech lingo, the * is the sign of indefinite letters after or before a word.)  
  
At eleven-thirty the following day, Dai met Ken at the door a second before the blue-haired genius raised his hand to knock. Without so much as a good bye to the rest of the apartment's occupants, he shut the door, and pulled Ken away before he could ask questions.  
  
They were in the lobby when Ken pulled his arm back and stopped. Daisuke stopped with him, but didn't turn around to face him. They were alone, a surprising event on a Saturday afternoon in such a public place, but neither really noticed.  
  
"You haven't been completely honest with me, have you, Dai?" Ken crossed his arms, waiting for the reply he knew would come. He watched as his friend seemd to wilt, his energy seeping from his body as his shoulders hunched, and he lowered his head.  
  
"What do you want to hear, Ken? What story would you like today? If you put it aside now, we can go on as before. There need be nothing more said, than what already occurred." He knew it wouldn't be that easy, and he knew he would have to deal with it better than he dealt with his father.  
  
"I want the truth, Daisuke. Who are you? What really goes on inside your head?" Ken touched the brunette's arm gently, just wanting to remind his friend that he was there.  
  
"I'm the same to day as I was yesterday. And the day before."  
  
"But you haven't always acted like the person you are."  
  
"It's easier, that way. Less expectation, less of the charade and facade of others."  
  
"But more of an act for you. I don't understand." He admitted it easily. True genius was knowing when to ask questions, and realizing that you couldn't know everything. Koushiro had told him that once.  
  
"Ken! Daisuke!" They looked up as the Yagami duo entered, followed by the Ishida/Takaishi look-alikes.   
  
"We'll finish this later, Dai." Ken smiled at the quartet, cursing their timing while reminding himself that the lobby wasn't the best place to hold a private conversation.  
  
Takeru jumped in with out prelimination. "Dai, we want to see the poem you wrote for class last week. Not the one you read, but the original you were planning on reading." Like a dog with a bone, he took a determined stance and waited for the rest to fall in line.  
  
Everyone looked at him in silence, and then Daisuke smiled. "Later, T.S. You're not distracting me from lunch and dessert today. I skipped breakfast so that I'd have enough room."  
  
Kari smiled, while Matt and Tai groaned. They had agreed to split the bill fifty-fifty, and it was known that Dai could pack the food down. "Let's get going then." Tai herded them out the door, pushing Takeru a little more than necessary when he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"We're going to an all-you-can-eat-buffet. That way, we keep the cost to a minimum, and you can still fill up." Matt opened the passenger door of his car, and pushed the seat forward so that Kari, Dai, and Ken could slip into the back seat. They sat Takeru between Tai and Matt in the front, with Tai driving, so that they could shut him up when necessary.  
  
Conversation was kept to trivial matters, such as weather and food. Nobody wanted to bring up a touchy subject on accident, so most sentences consisted of two to three words. By the time they reached the restaurant, Dai was almost amused at the trouble they were going through to keep him at ease. He was also extremely touched. Ken remained silent, planning his next attack.  
  
They unloaded in a disorderly fashion, and were soon shown to a table by a very harassed hostess. Dai was given last turn at the food bar, for fear that he wouldn't leave anything for anyone else. He tried pointing out that the plates were too small, but they ignored him, and filled their own. It seemed like old times, and they all soon forgot that there was more hanging over their heads.  
  
Until a punk from school, who had made it a point to insult Dai at least once a day at school, felt it would be a perfect time to bump into Dai, and 'help' him by spilling food and soda down the front of his T-shirt. After the night before, the brunette managed to rein in his anger, and settled on glaring at his antagonist.  
  
The others, releasing breaths that they were unaware of holding, sagged in relief when Dai made to walk past without comment, or retort. Only Ken saw the murderous rage in the brown eyes, or the almost unperceivable movement of the bullies foot as it swept out, and sent Dai sailing forward.  
  
In a flash, Ken had caught him, and grabbed him. Chocolate eyes met amethyst as Ken tightened his grip, and looked at Dai wordlessly. Instead of giving into his rage and turning to face the target of his fury, he swallowed, and closed his eyes.  
  
It was Takeru who hauled off and knocked the bully flat, his blue eyes flashing as he let his fist fly. Tai looked on in approval, Matt shook his head in disapproval, and Kari cheered before she realized that they were getting a lot of unwanted attention. The other two remained locked in their trance, lost to the world. It took Tai gripping both their shoulders and pulling them apart before they remembered the world.  
  
"Maybe Tai will adopt you, T.K., since you seem to have found the 'Yagami way' of dealing with things." Matt lead everyone back to their booth to collect their things. The manager was giving them dirty looks, and they had managed to fill the floor with six plates worth of food. Not a good thing in under five minutes.  
  
"Thank you, T.K." Dai smiled at his blonde friend, who was grinning rather proudly, and pained, as he rubbed his knuckles.   
  
"My pleasure, Davis. Always glad to help." Kari and Matt shook their head and mumbled about his bloodthirsty ways. Tai had run up ahead, and was having problems figuring out the locking mechanism of the car doors. Ken walked behind them all, as silent as he had been on the ride there.  
  
"Well, lunch is out. How about ice cream?" Matt took the keys from his boyfriend with an indulgent smile, and unlocked the door with a simple twist. "We can go back to my place, and eat in peace."  
  
"Sounds good." Tai jumped into the driver's seat, and smiled sweetly at Matt.   
  
"Your just agreeing so that you two can makeout in his bedroom." Kari gave them a decidedly disgusted and magnaminus smile. "But as long as you have Ben and Jerry's, I'll be happy!"  
  
"Such a sweet, and simple gal. Like any woman will ever be content with a pint of ice cream." T.K. took the punch in the arm with grace as he got into the back seat last, Ken in the middle.  
  
"More content than a man will ever be. At least we get what we expect. A man is never pleased." Kari shut her mouth without continuing her tirade, realizing belatedly that she was outnumbered. "Never mind."   
  
She was placed against the passenger door so that Matt could hold Tai's hand as he drove. After having been ousted the day before, neither saw the reason in pretending that they weren't going out. Matt had been apprehensive, but Tai had managed to convince him that everything would be fine.  
  
Kari reached over the blonde and turned on the radio. It blared out loudly, an indistinguishable sound that disrupted the quiet. Ken, Dai, T.K. and Kari covered their ears. The older two seemed unaffected by it. She turned it down, and then flicked through the stations until something familiar came on.  
  
//We'll never see eye-to-eye, as long as our tongues are tied.//   
  
"Collective Soul!" Kari squeeled in delight, and then blushed as her brother and T.K. laughed at her. "They're good! Their music is really distinctive!"  
That just earned her more chuckles.  
  
//...we'll never walk hand-in-hand, until we let old wounds mend. And we'll never sing songs as one, until we find loooooove...//  
  
"They really are pretty good." Matt smiled at Kari, who gave him a grateful grin. "They've got about three CD's on the market, at least. Their newest has a really good song, but I don't know what it's called. I was impressed."  
  
"In a moment. In a moment." T.K. started to mimic the lyrics. Kari turned in her seat to glare at him." It just keeps repeating itself. Over and over and over and over..."  
  
"Just shut up, Takeru!" She hmphed and turned back around, crossing her arms and assuming a pout.   
  
"Looks like you aren't her favorite today, T.R." Dai grinned as the younger blonde rolled his eyes. "Better watch out, or she'll start flirting with Ken to spite you."  
  
"She wouldn't dare!" T.K. looked at Kari, who smirked back over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Hikari. I didn't mean to insult them, if you like them."  
  
"Thank you, T.K. I appreciate your apology."  
  
//And that concludes our Saturday doubler of Collective Soul. Next up, Fuel. We have a request for Hemorrhage, of course, as well has Innocent.//  
  
"Is this another of your favorites, Kari?" Tai grinned at her over his boyfriend's head.  
  
//Satan, you know where I lie...//  
  
"Down, down, baby..." Kari glared at T.K. as he started singing a song by Nelly. "Sorry." Ken watched as Dai shut his eyes, his hand tapping to the music.  
  
//Gently, I go into that good night. All our lives get complicated, search for pleasures over-rated.//  
  
"Stop arguing, you two." Matt gave them both dirty looks.  
  
//...We were innocent. Innocence. Angels, lend me your minds...//  
  
"You guys are so annoying." Kari turned to the window as Matt looked her, speechless. He had tried to defend her. Tai turned the station. "Hey! I was listening to that!"  
  
"No, you weren't. You were arguing with Takaishi, and not letting anyone have any peace." Matt nodded in agreement, and T.K. looked smug. "If you promise to behave, I'll turn it back."  
  
"Yes, Tai."  
  
Hemorrhage had started. //Memories are just where you need them. Drag the waters to the...//  
  
"Can you change it please?" Five eyes turned to Dai as he asked the question in a voice loud enough to be heard over the radio. "This song is kind of depressing, in case you haven't noticed."  
  
Three hands reached out to comply with his request, and Tai, Kari, and Matt grinned sheepishly at each other. Kari turned the station.  
  
"Thank you." The volume was turned down so that T.K. and Matt could talk about Matt's band and their latest accomplishment. They were both understandably proude of it, since Matt had let his little brother become a roadie, and backup vocalist.  
  
Everyone else listend as the brothers talked back and forth. By the time they reached Matt's building, Dai was dozing with his head back against the seat, Ken was resting in a similar position, and T.K. had somehow managed to find a position between the front and back seats. So much for seatbelt laws.  
  
Again, they crawled over each other to get out. Ken had to wake up Dai, who jerked up and away, cracking his head against the window. "Sorry. We're here."  
  
"'Kay, thanks." Matt was already halfway up the walk, T.K. and Kari right behind him. Tai was trying with little success to lock the doors. Ken reached out, twisted the key, and smiled to himself as all four doors locked. Dai grinned at them, and ran up to the other three. Same old Dai. 


	7. A shoulder to cry on

Author's note: Chapter 7! The following fic contains material that may be unsuitable for children under 37. Please, use reader discretion when reading. It is illegal to copy a copyrighted fic, and breakers of this code will be penalized to the full extent of the mall.  
  
Dislcaimer: I don't own Digimon, or the company that does own it, any of the writers, animators, or employees of the company that owns it.  
  
Warning: Angst. Romance.  
  
___________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: A little touch of romance, and more angsty Dais  
  
Daisuke managed to beat them all to the Ishida apartment door. He was leaning against it and grinning smugly when the other five tumbled out of the elevator. He had managed to duck out of the transport seconds before the door shut. Since Matt's apartment was on the second floor, they saw no reason to stop it until it got there, when they could make sure if he had run off or not.  
  
Apparently, not.  
  
"You guys are so slow!" He challenged them, not even out of breath from his quick run up the stairs. "I've been waiting forever!"  
  
"Whatever, super-star!" Kari punched Takeru in the arm as he mimicked a T.V. show.  
  
"What kind of ice cream do you have?" Dai moved away from the door as Matt took his keys from Tai and unlocked it. "And I hope you have lots, cause I'm hungry."  
  
"What else is new?" Dai stuck his tongue out at Kari his eyes twinkling. "Maybe if you're nice, Matt will cook you lunch." The blonde groaned at the suggestion as he pushed the door open and waved everyone inside.  
  
"That's actually a good idea. Since nobody ate, Yamato can make us all some food." Tai recieved a mock-glare for his effort. "And I'll help, of course."  
  
"That's enough to make me pass, thanks, Tai." T.K. dropped onto the couch as his brother's boyfriend glowered at him. "Of course, I doubt that when you guys cook together, you do anything more than stare at his ass, anyways."  
  
Kari's mouth fell open at his bluntness, and she shook her head. Matt gave him an equally incredilous expression. "You have been spending too much time with Tai. I can't believe such vulgar language just came from your mouth."  
  
"Yeah, T.E. You should take a leaf from my tree, and watch what you say." Dai grinned at him.  
  
"It's 'a leaf from my book'. But thanks anyways, Davis. I should have known that you wouldn't be on my side." T.K. grinned at Dai's thoughtful look.   
  
"Leave the boy alone, guys." It was Tai who stuck up for him with a grin. "If he wants to act like a studly man, let him."  
  
That sent everyone into peals of laughter, T.K. hiding his face in his hands. "Oh, god. Please let him be joking!" Kari shook her head as her brother assumed an indignant pout, and settled himself on a chair, facing the wall.  
  
"Never mind. You guys can all go away. I don't want to talk to any of you." Matt fought his grin and knelt beside his sweetheart. "That includes you, too, Ishida."  
  
"Oh, Taichi. Don't be that way, please. You know we're just joking." Matt looked over his shoulder before continuing. "You and I both know that you're a right studly little man." Tai pretended to sniffle, hiding his grin by keeping his head turned aside.  
  
"Do you really mean that?" Matt rolled his eyes.  
  
"Of course, I do, baby." The endearment slipped out as he put his arms around Tai's waist. "You're my little studmuffin, and don't ever forget it." T.K made a gagging motion with his finger and mouth, and then stood up.   
  
"Come here for a second, Kari. I want to show you something." They went into the back of the apartment, and he took her into Matt's room, leaving the door wide open. Ken and Dai looked at each other, then fell onto the couch side-by-side as a doe-eyed Tai followed Matt into the kitchen.  
  
"Gag me!" Dai vocalised as he laid his head against the cushions and yawned.  
  
"I think they're sweet, myself." Ken argued. Dai shrugged, and they lapsed into silence, neither really concerned with speaking at that moment. Ken looked at his friend, his mind going in continuous tangents. He wasn't quite certain how to start the conversation that was looming ahead of them. For the moment, though, he was content to sit and watch his friend doze peacefully.  
  
He leaned back and looked at the ceiling as the sounds from the rest of the apartment floated back to them. T.K and Kari were talking, and he seemed to be playing the radio softly. Matt and Tai were arguing playfully as Matt moved around, cooking, and Tai watched his backside as T.K had predicted.  
  
"Dai?" One eye cracked open, then the other, before he lifted his head up and looked at him.   
  
"Yeah?" His voice was resigned. He followed Ken's gaze, and mirrored his position. "Time to dig it up, huh?"  
  
"I think that now's as good a time as any." They spoke quietly, not really wanting to draw the attention of the others. "We'll start with an easy one. How are your grades this semester, Dai?"  
  
"I'm passing them all with flying colors."  
  
"I thought as much." Ken looked at Dai out of the corner of his eye. The other boy looked relaxed, but he could feel the tension that emanated from him. "Next one. What agreement do you have with your father?"  
  
"That wasn't quite as easy." Dai tried to laugh, but couldn't manage a genuine sounding one. "As long as he leaves me alone, I leave him alone, and I don't call Child Services."  
  
There was more to it than that, but he'd push that point later. "Have you attempted suicide?"  
  
"If I had attempted it, we wouldn't be discussing this right now. I would have either succeeded the first time, or kept at it until it worked. Believe it or not, I like many parts of my life, especially my friends."  
  
"That's good to hear." Ken meant it. He didn't know what he would do if his best friend left him. Even though it was being made very apparent that he hadn't always been there for Dai, he knew that there wasn't anything that Dai didn't know about him. "What's up with the poem that T.K. was pushing about?"  
  
"It was an assignment in class. We were studying poets from around the world, and we were told to come up with one of our own. I wrote mine when slightly depressed, and I realized at the last minute that I didn't want the whole class knowing my business. So I spouted off another one off the top of my head."  
  
"Can I read it sometime?" Dai looked at him, resting his cheek against the back of the couch. He nodded when he realized that Ken wouldn't let up on it. "Last one for right now. How at risk are you for endangering someone else?"  
  
The brunette opened his mouth to give a sarcastic reply, but the cerulean eyes that met his stopped him. "Depends." He looked away, and glanced into the kitchen in time to see Tai pull an agitated Matt into his arms and kiss him.  
  
"On what?"  
  
"If you're my father, then the risk is high." He turned his head back, and stared into Ken's eyes. "But I'd kill myself before I ever hurt you." They kept eye contact, Dai waiting patiently while Ken searched his eyes.   
  
"What are you two talking about?" T.K. leaned over the arm of the couch, and Kari smiled at them from a chair across from them. They had been there for several moments during the silence without gaining the attention of the other two. Dai leaned back against the couch, and Ken felt himself blush slightly.  
  
"We were arguing over what television show to watch. I want to watch that new comedy that's on, but he insists on watching his favorite police drama." Dai covered easily. "We were going to settle it with another staring contest, before you so rudely interrupted us, T.Z."  
  
"Neither sounds really interesting." Kari input. T.K. shrug. For once, he didn't push.  
  
"I'm not much on T.V., either way. Hey, we can take in a movie!" He sounded excited at the prospect, and his brother smiled at his enthusiasm as he reentered the room.  
  
"No doubt that it will be some violent flic, what with your new-found bloodlust, T.K."   
  
From the kitchen, where he was eating his ice cream out of the container, Tai spoke up. "That sounds like a good idea! There's this new movie out, called 'The Day It Landed' down at the Cineplex. It's about this evil alien from some far away planet that lands, and tries to enslave all the bellydancers of the world!"   
  
Matt turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. "And why do you want to see a movie with half-naked women, Taichi?"  
  
"Uh..." At a lost for words, Tai just shoveled another scoop of ice cream into his mouth. Matt just nodded knowingly.  
  
"There also happens to be a new comedy playing as well. Action, romance, humor. All the fun things that we all enjoy, rolled into one." Kari pronounce brightly. Daisuke had a sudden urge to vomit.  
  
Instead, he nodded in agreement and jumped off the couch. "Right after the ice cream's gone!" He raced into the kitchen, grabbed one of the pints that Tai had taken from the freezer, and then returned to his seat.   
  
"What about lunch?" Matt gave him a threatening look.  
  
With a disarming grin, Dai shoved his spoon into the cold treat. "Trush me, I'll have room." The other's simply groaned as the two biggest pigs in Japan seemingly raced to finish their ice cream off in under a minute. Kari made a gagging noise as they all watched with a sort of disgusted fascination.  
  
Melted ice cream dripping down his cheek, Tai looked up and caught the glances bouncing back and forth between him and the second generation goggle-boy. "What?"  
  
"You two are -so- disgusting." Takeru was kind enough to point out.  
  
"Oh, and you're not?" It was lame come-back, even for Dai, but it made Kari giggle, and Matt smile slightly. "That's high opinion coming from the boy who drinks a jar of pickle juice before every game."  
  
Four pair of eyes swiveled to T.K., who blushed and looked down. "That was a while ago." He muttered defensively. "And it's not like it ever did anything bad to me."  
  
"No. You only threw up on the coach after two games." He grimaced at Hikari. "What? It's true! You can ask any of the guys on your team, and they'll all admit it."  
  
"You're supposed to be on my side, Kari." She smiled innocently, her eyes sparkling.  
  
"But I am, T.K., really." They shared a look, only to be interrupted by the elder blonde.   
  
"That's nice. Now that we have that worked out, why don't you two finish lunch while Tai and I...look at my new...C.D." He grinned at his boyfriend as the brunette jumped up, dumped the empty ice cream container in the trash, and then pulled the taller boy to his bedroom. The door shut loudly behind them.  
  
"Um...that's nice." Dai commented. "Looks like lunch is out for today. And I'm going to have to skip the movie, too. Sorry, but I can't stay out that late. Trying to get along with my parents and all. Breaking curfew would be a bad move, ya know?" The other's nodded in understanding, nobody pointing out that it was only three in the afternoon.   
  
Ken stood up also. "I should be going, too." The other's accepted his departure as calmly as they had Dai. "See you guys later."  
  
"Bye, Ken. Bye, Davis." Kari waved at them happily from her chair. T.K. grunted stubbornly, not appreciating his friends ganging up on him.   
  
"Later." Daisuke and Ken left together, and walked silently to the elevator. Once inside, Ken pushed the stop button.  
  
"Um, Ken? People might want to use this thing." He pointed out nervously. He wasn't afraid of closed in places, he just didn't want to discuss what Ken had started earlier.  
  
"They can wait." Ken leaned against the wall opposite Daisuke and regarded him through narrowed eyes. "Are you ready to talk now?"  
  
With a grimace, Dai hit his head against the wall. He perked up suddenly and grinned at his blue-haired friend. "Sure. Ready when you are." His false cheer passed by without a blink from Ken.  
  
"Do you really want to stay at your house?" He asked.  
  
"No. I hate my father, and I don't like being there. It has never been a home to me. Ever." His eyes were sad, bitter. He looked at Ken and smiled sadly, unable to think of anything else to say.  
  
"Will they miss you if you don't go home?" He shook his head in lieu of a verbal response. "Then you're coming to stay with me." Brown eyes shot to indigo. "We'll stop at your place, pick up some stuff, and then take the bus to my house. My mother won't mind."  
  
"Thank you, but I can't ask you for such a thing."  
  
"You're not asking, Dai. I'm offering it to you freely. A chance to let your guard down a little someplace where you know you're cared for." A single tear slipped unbidden down tanned cheeks, and Ken went to him, wrapping the shorter boy in his arms. He promptly started crying, his arms circling Ken's slim waist.  
  
  
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End note: Is anyone out there still reading this? Are am I just wasting my time by going on? If anyone has any thoughts/suggestions, put it in a review, or email me at raegan_1@hotmail.com. 


	8. To tell a half-truth

Author note: This is part 8, in case anyone forgot how to count. Ken's my hero in this one. Such a quiet, unassuming young man. Ha! And Mini-me? Never assume anything.   
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Want it. Want Dai and Ken, and official Daiken, but will live.  
  
Warning: Yaoi. Gay-bashing. No violence, thank you. Angst. And a happy Daisuke.   
  
____________________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi, Daiken referencing, that's all I'm telling ya:)!  
  
They hailed a taxi downstairs, Ken's arms still around Daisuke's shoulders. He offered support, despite the odd glances they received from passer-bys. He had tightened his hold when they stepped off the elevator and the redhead had made to pull away. He knew his friend needed him, whether he wanted to admit it, or not.  
  
Ken held the door to the yellow car while Dai slid in, and across the seat. He gave the driver the Motomiya's address, and settled back against the seat. The radio was set to a station that played music akin to what is found in elevators, at such a volume to be easily spoken over.  
  
"So. Read any good books lately?" Ken asked, nonchalant. The weak grin that Dai sent him was genuine.  
  
"Can you pick a topic, and stay on it? I bet you flip television channels every thirty seconds, too." They both knew that that was untrue, and that the conversation was being moved away from any topics that might be painful to Daisuke. His teasing was a way of getting himself under control, back into a semblance of normalcy.  
  
"Of course. And I bet that you've never watched the same channel for six hours because you couldn't reach the remote?" The driver looked at them through the rear-view mirror, his swarthy skin broken by his yellow smile.   
  
"Of course, not. Just as you've never locked yourself in my bathroom after spending the night to iron your underwear." Score! Ken blushed, his shoulders shaking in embarrassed laughter. Daisuke looked on with a satisfied grin, his shoulder squaring unconsciously.  
  
His shoulders drooped when the taxi stopped, and they stepped out to look up at his apartment building. Ken gave the man his fare, and turned concerned indigo eyes to his friend. "Dai? You ready?" His response was a nod, and then they started forward, Daisuke taking small hesitant steps, not wanting to go.  
  
He wasn't afraid of his father, or his mother, or even Jun. He wasn't worried about what they'd say to him. He was frightened of what they'd say to Ken, or he'd say to them. He didn't want things to go so badly that his best friend would walk off and leave him. He doubted that Ken would, but the fear was there. The fear that he wasn't really important enough for Ken to stand by him. Especially against his father's animosity.   
  
And what should happen if the Ichijouji's didn't want him in their home? He knew his parents had been there. He was certain that they had told them he was gay. He couldn't beleive that they'd calmly allow their son's little faggot friend into their home for an indefinite amount of time. The world didn't work that way.   
  
As for Ken himself, he seemed to have gotten over the touching thing, if the hand at his elbow was any indication. He was glad, that of all his friends to take him home, it was Ken. He had already made enough of a fool of himself in front of the others to last him a lifetime. Ken wouldn't judge him, wouldn't hate him, wouldn't look down on him.  
  
His self-worth reaffirmed, his stride lengthened. No matter what, Ken would stand by him. He knew that, Ken himself had said the same thing the day before. There was nothing to fear. No worry about what would transpire, because Ken was there, and that made everything okay.   
  
Ken looked at his friend as he seemed to straigthen, and hurried up. He smiled slightly at the determined look in those brown eyes. He didn't know what pep talk Dai had given himself, but it seemed to be working. He removed his hand from the tanned arm that he had been using to propel his friend forward with.   
  
They walked through the lobby, keeping pace with each other. An old woman by the desk looked up and smiled, thinking that they looked like a little team. They were, really. Paired up against a foe greater and more powerful that Malomyotismon. Parental disapproval.  
  
"You okay, Dai?" Ken asked as they walked up the stairs. They had bypassed the elevators, since Dai lived on the third floor, and it took just as much time to walk as taking the moving contraption.  
  
"Been better." His lips tugged up in a small smile. His eyes met Ken's and the warmth in his seemed to blaze. "Thank you, Ken. For everything. Helping me yesterday, and today. For making me face this at the same time that you're taking me from it. No matter what happens, I'll always appreciate that you were here when I needed you."  
  
He paused at the door, his hand on the knob. With a deep breath, he turned it, and pushed it open. The first thing they noticed was the blare of the television, then the smell of something cooking. It was the normal everyday things that existed in his house, with one exception. He could hear the sound of someone talking in the living room.   
  
In his family, they didn't talk to each other unless necessary, or in front of company. Voices meant that they had company. He looked at Ken, and angled his head toward his room. They started down to his room, as quiet as possible. Ken seemed to respect his silent request for privacy to pack his stuff before they faced his parents.   
  
They made it as far as the living room when the voice of Mr. Motomiya interrupted their quest. "Davis, is that you?" He used the dreaded nickname, the one that distanced him, while seeming to sound endearing to the outside world.  
  
He stopped in the doorway, and nodded at the couple sitting in his...the living room. "Yes, father. Ken and I have returned to pack, since I'm at his house." He made it sound as if they had planned it together, instead of him just throwing it out at them.   
  
His father narrowed his eyes, the only indication that he wasn't aware of what was going on. "I seem to have forgotten. This is Mr. Tagami, an associate of mine, and his wife. They're staying for dinner. I had wanted them to meet you, but if you're not going to be home, I guess they'll only get this chance for you to impress them."  
  
Translation: Pretend you're not the little bastard I know you are, and make them think you're a model son.  
  
Ken caught the meaning behind the man's word, and felt the stirring of anger in the boy next to him.   
  
Response: Fuck off.  
  
With deliberation, he bowed to the couple, then reached out and curled his hand around Daisuke's. "Of course, Motomiya-san. We'll be right back. Let us just gather his things." He smiled charmingly, then pulled Dai with him toward his room, not relinquishing his hold.   
  
The door shut gently behind them. Dai leaned back against it, pulled his hand away, and doubled over in laughter. Ken let a small, satisfied smile curl his lips. "My father is so going to freak! And did you see Tagami's wife? I thought her eyes were going to drop out of her head!"  
  
"Yes, well." He moved away, grabbing Dai's backpack from beside the bed. "What shall we take?"  
  
The redhead shrugged away from the wall. "Don't know. Clothes?" For added measure, in case anyone was stupid enough to stand outside his door. "Or will I need them, sweets?"  
  
Ken looked up sharply from where he had been pulling things out of Daisuke's bottom drawer. It was the first endearment that his friend had called him, even in jest. Dai caught the look and sighed, misinterpreting it.  
  
"I'm not about to jump you, Ken. Thank you for what you did in there. If you hadn't pulled that stunt, I might have gone off." He moved away, searching through his closet. A gentle hand touched his shoulder, lacking the pressure to turn him around, just enough to get his attention.  
  
"I don't feel uncomfortable with you, Dai. You're still my best friend, no matter what. I know that you won't 'jump me', or anything of the sort. I trust you. And as for what I did in there, you're father deserves that, and whatever else he gets." The skin under his hand seemed to relax, and heard Daisuke sigh.  
  
"If you're not...worried that I'll...put the moves on you, then why do you seem jumpy every other time I touch you?" He asked quietly, looking at the floor of his closet. Ken put his other hand on the corresponding shoulder, and leaned in to whisper his answer in Dai's ear.   
  
He never got a chance. The door flew open, Mr. Motomiya speaking loudly. "Of course, Tagami-san! We'll be right there." He stopped in the doorway, and glared at the two boys that turned to look at him. In quieter tones, he addressed them, his voice holding warning. "Tagami wants to talk to the two of you before you leave. You know the drill, hurry up."   
  
He went out again, his abrupt departure making Ken mad, and Daisuke sigh again. "We go out, pretend the world's a beautiful place, and make our excuses quickly." He pulled away from Ken to put more clothes into his bag. He zipped up the opening, and shouldered it, looking at Ken with a small smile. "Let's get this show on the road!"   
  
His grin in place, Dai lead the way out of the bedroom, leaving Ken to follow a few paces behind. When they arrived back in the living room, his father gestured for them to sit on a small, two-person couch, angle toward the Tagamis.  
  
With a broad smile, the older balding man started questioning them. "So, how long have you been dating?"  
  
Ken answered first. "We're both fifteen, right now, so it's been about four years." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mr. Motomiya's fist clench.  
  
"Really? That's quite a long time to date anyone at your age, especially another boy with all the animosity still in the world. Do you have friends that accept this, also, or have you kept it a secret?"  
  
Ken's smile faltered. Tagami knew that it was rude to ask such personal questions, but seemed secure in the knowledge that nobody would object to his third-degree drilling. Daisuke answered. "We have a tight group of friends, who accept us as what we are. We've been friends for years, and Ken fit into our group very well four years ago, so we have a support group."  
  
"That's really very neat. So many people find homosexuality threatening, that it's nice to see a man open his home and heart to his son's boyfriend. I have a lot of respect for your father, Davis, to be so open-minded."  
  
Ken took over. "Yes, sir, it is wonderful. There are so many close-minded and narrow people in the world, that it's great to find a man who appreciates his blood and kin, despite the rest of society. It takes a brave and masculine man to admit that his son's sexuality isn't a result of breeding or geneology, but of fate and love. It's hard for so many to see that it doesn't really affect them, or their own preferences. And it's great to see a man place the love of a son, over the approval of society."  
  
They all looked at him, open-mouthed, surprised by his little verbal onslaught. He just smiled at Tagami, head held high, and took Dai's hand in his. The redhead was looking at him, visibly stunned. With a smile, Ken put his hand to his jaw, and closed his friends mouth gently.   
  
"Right." Daisuke stood up, tugging on Ken's hand. "We have to go, if you'll excuse us." He bowed, pulling Ken with him, and then walked out, grabbing his pack from the archway. When the door shut behind them, he turned to Ken with a huge grin. "You were wonderful!" He dropped the slim hand in his, and wrapped his arms around the other boy's waist, ignoring the stare of a passing neighbor.  
  
Ken smirked, embracing his friend in return. "Wasn't I, though?" They laughed together, their shoulders shaking in mirth. "I think it will be a while before any of them recover."  
  
"I thought my father was going to have a heart attack!" After several moments, their humor subsided. Dai relaxed, leaning into Ken a little. He enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms, the safety and warmth of the arms encircling him. Ken didn't pull back. Instead, he tightened his grip, and put one hand on the back of Daisuke's head, letting him rest his cheek against his shoulder.  
  
"It's been a long day, hasn't it?" He asked quietly, eyes closed as warm breath cascaded over his neck.  
  
"Mm." A soft sigh was his only reply. With tenderness, he pulled away from his friend, smiling into tired brown eyes.  
  
He took his hand again, and pulled Daisuke willingly behind him. "Come on. We'll go back to my place, and you can nap on my bed. It will only be six by the time we get there, but you can eat later, after you've rested."  
  
"Okay." Daisuke would have agreed to anything in that moment. Still warm from the hug, his hand safely snared in Ken's, he would have agreed to jump off the end of the world.  
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End note: Say it with me now: Aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I know, pure sap. I had to make up for a new story I just completed and posted. Some things are just too depressing. 


	9. The truth doesn't always work

Author's note: I am a yaoi fan. I like Daisuke with just about any guy from 01 and 02. I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed this so far. For those asking for your fave couple, I would like you to know that I didn't ignore anyone's request on purpose, I just thought about a couple of things. After rereading the beginning and middle sections of this, I realized something that I had missed before. I had to go back and answer a couple of questions, and realized that the answers were more complicated one way than another, and that's where this next part comes from, as well as what follows.  
  
Confused? Good. It's in my job description.  
  
Disclaimer: it. own Don't  
  
Warning: Yaoi. You already know this will be yaoi. Don't yell at me for any of the couplings, please. If I disappoint anyone, email me, and I promise to try to write a fic that's more to your liking, just tell me what that is.   
  
raegan_1@hotmail.com.  
  
_______________________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi  
  
They managed to catch the bus to Tamachi, finding the public transport oddly empty for the early evening. They found seats in the back, and sat with the aisle between them. Dai felt oddly bereft without his friends contact, but he didn't say anything. Ken was staring thoughtfully out of the window.  
  
The silence between them stretched on, unbroken but for the sound of the engine and the wheels on the pavement. The few other passengers were quiet, also. Daisuke leaned his head against the seat, and let his thoughts wander. He thought of Veemon, who he had left at his apartment. Again. With a feeling of guilt, he shook his head.   
  
What a terrific friend he was, abandoning his partner after he'd been there for him. He made a mental note to pick him up in the morning. He knew that his parents wouldn't be up before eleven, and he could catch the nine o'clock train and be there before they woke up. With that plan in mind, he slipped into sleep, eyelids sliding down over his brown eyes.  
  
Ken looked over, and caught his friend in slumber. It was the second time that day that he had fallen asleep, and he was starting to worry for his friend. It wasn't a good sign if he slept all day. It meant that he wasn't getting enough sleep at night. Insomnia could be evidence of depression and anxiety, which he knew Daisuke suffered from. He would have to find a way to make the redhead go to the doctor's.   
  
He turned his attention back out the window, watching for the familiar landmarks that would let him know that he was close to home, and could wake Dai up. He thought ahead, to what he would say to his parents, and decided to tell them the whole truth. They deserved nothing less, and he knew that they'd try to understand and help.  
  
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A/N: I wanted to remind everyone that I love Ken, and he is my hero. He just has a problem communicating with his parents, and some things just come out wrong.  
  
________________  
  
Ken unlocked his front door, and pushed it open, letting Dai step into the hallway ahead of him. They slipped off their shoes, and wandered through the apartment in socks. It was comfortable on the plush carpet of the Ichijouji home.  
  
"Go on in, and lay down. I'll talk to my parents, and come get you for dinner around seven-thirty." Dai nodded, and trodded through to Ken's room. The blue-haired genius walked into the kitchen, and watched his mother cooking for a couple of minutes before coughing to let her know that he was there.  
  
She turned around in surprise, and then smiled. "Oh, Ken, honey. I didn't realize you were home already. How was your afternoon?" She began to set the table, and he grabbed the silverware to help.  
  
"It was fine, Momma. I brought Daisuke home, but he's laying down. He's really tired." She looked at him with concern.   
  
"Is everything okay? His father seemed very upset the other day, but he didn't say much." That answered Ken's quiestion of what his parents knew. At that moment, his father walked in.   
  
"Hello, son. Anything new? I saw your little friend go into your room. He looked pretty beat." He stressed the word beat, and Ken rememberd that Dai's eye was still bruised, and swollen, and his lip was cut.  
  
"He's kind of in trouble right now. His parents read something that they shouldn't have, and they freaked out. His dad hit him, a couple of times, and he doesn't want to have to go home. I was hoping that he could stay here for a while."  
  
His mother gave his father a look, and he consented. "Of course. You know that Daisuke's always welcome here."  
  
"Wait before you say that. There's more."   
  
  
Daisuke shut the door behind him, and walked to Ken's bed, crawling beneath the covers. He closed his eyes, but couldn't work up the feeling of tiredness he'd had. It seemed that his little naps today had done the charm, because he wasn't tired.   
  
He got up, and made his way back towards the kitchen, his feet noiseless. He heard Mr. Ichijouji speak, and was about to enter the kitchen, his heart light, when Ken's voice stopped him.  
  
"There's more." He paused, leaning against the wall. His friend's subdued tones warned him that what Ken said wasn't met for his ears. He didn't leave, though. That would have been the polite thing, not eavesdropping after his parent had been nice enough to let him stay.  
  
"What's the matter, honey?" His mother asked, and Dai could see her approaching her son, searching his face, and smoothing his hair back.  
  
"This is private, so don't say anything to Dai about it, please?" He paused, and the boy in question could guess that the parents were nodding in agreement. "He's gay. Which isn't really that big of a secret, but I screwed up after I learnt that. I started getting kind of jumpy. I know that he'd never do anything, but it made me uncomfortable."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with a person, just because they happen to be attracted to their own gender." Daisuke smiled, wanting to hug Mr. Ichijouji. There was a man who wouldn't hate him, unlike his own father.  
  
"I know. I finally got over that. That's not the worst part, yet. Not bad, worst, but the most tangled, worst."  
  
"Go ahead, dear." His mother encouraged. Daisuke nodded, wanting to hear more. So what if the Ichijouji's didn't look at him the same as before, they didn't hate him.   
  
A chair scraped, then two more moved across the linoleum floor. "When we got done with lunch, we went back to Ishida-san's apartment. Dai and I left early, and took the elevator down. We spoke, and he cried. And I kind of kept my arm around him the whole time through the lobby, and outside."  
  
"Did you come straight home?" A leading question, making it easier for him to piece it together.  
  
"No. We went back to the Motomiya's, to get his clothes. His father had company, a Mr. Tagami. His father said something, not outright insulting, but with enough of an undertone that I caught it. To piss him off, I held Dai's hand till we left the apartment. We even sat in the living room and answered questions about our 'relationship'."  
  
"You pretended that you and Daisuke were dating?" His father, confused.  
  
His mother joined in. "Or were you pretending?" Dai pushed away from the wall, standing at attention, awaiting the answer.  
  
"That's the tangled part. Dai's my best friend. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him, sometimes. He keeps me sane, and he drags me out of myself. And I get the feeling, this vibe from him, that his feelings run a little deeper towards me."  
  
"Do you love him? Like that?" His father again.  
  
There was a pause, and a sigh. "No." He could picture his friend, rubbing the skin under his right ear in concentration, trying to find the words. "I wish I could, though. I'm afraid of telling him that I don't feel the same way, and I think that I've been sending signals that I do."  
  
"You have to be honest with him, honey. If you don't love him beyond friendship, he has a right to know. Especially if he feels as strongly for you as you think he does. Otherwise you'll hurt him."  
  
"I'll hurt him, no matter when I tell him. He has...anxiety and depression problems, and I don't want to trigger them. He scared the crap out of me, and some of our friends yesterday. I'm scared of what he'll do if I tell him. He's a danger to himself, momma, and should he do something rash, it'll be my fault."   
  
Daisuke listened to the guilt in his friends voice, along with the worry, and the pity.  
  
  
Ken listened to his parent's advice, then left the kitchen to check on Daisuke. He felt slightly guilty that he had told them so much, but they deserved his honesty. So did Daisuke.  
  
He pushed open the door to his room, and was hit by a cool breeze. Blue eyes scanned the room, taking in the scene quickly. The bed was empty, and the window leading to the fire escape was wide open. He ran to it, and looked over the sill in time to see auburn hair reach the bottom, and start running.  
  
"Daisuke!" He ran out of his room, and through the apartment. "Daisuke ran off, I'll be back when I find him!" He tossed the words at his parents. With little patience, he put his shoes on, then grabbed Dai's.   
  
He took the stairs, muttering under his breath the whole way. "Damn, damn, damn, damn." The litany ended when he reached the lobby and a mother with her children scowled at him. "Sorry."  
  
Outside, he headed in the direction that Daisuke had gone. It would take them to the busstop, and also to the train station. He ran as quickly as he could, breath coming harder and harder. He slowed down when he reached the bus-stop, and saw brown eyes looking at him from the back seat. Then Dai turned away, leaving Ken to watch as the bus drove back towards Odaiba.  
  
"Dais. I'm sorry." With a quick decision, he started running again, this time toward the train. He still had a chance of catching his friend. 


	10. In arms of love

Author's note: Hmm. This part is...different. This one is kind of...a look into Dai's psyche, the way his life as become. His explanation of why he's been the way he's been in this fic, so far. It's a little confusing, and I'm sorry.  
  
General information: I didn't go with all the Ep. 50 couples. Just a little note for upcoming chapters.  
  
Disclaimer: Same as before.  
  
Warning: Read chapter one through nine.   
  
_______________  
  
Author: Rae  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi.   
  
Daisuke ran for all he was worth once he reached the street. He heard Ken call his name from above, but ignored him, intent on getting away. He didn't want to face the pitying eyes of his friend and his family. It was too much.  
  
He saw the bus, and quickened his pace. His heart was already beating heavily from his descent down the fire escape. Soccer hadn't prepared him for eight flight of steep stairs. Next time he ran away, he'd use the front door. The elevator was quicker, and easier.  
  
Once on the bus, he found a seat in back. This time, though it was a little fuller, he managed to find a window seat, facing the buildings. He saw Ken run up, his hair trailing away from his face. His expression was urgent, his eyes distressed. For a second, their gazes connected, and then Dai looked away, the bus already pulling away from the curb.  
  
He ignored the people around him, not really paying attention to anything. He just wanted to find a place where the world and his friends wouldn't find him. He'd already caused them enough problems, they didn't need to worry about him anymore. The bus trip back to Odaiba was as boring as the one to Tamachi. However, he couldn't sleep on the way back. He wished he could, his head leaning against the cool glass of the window.  
  
"What's the matter, sonny?" He looked beside him, into the face of a kindly old woman.   
  
With barely tempered annoyance, he fairly snarled at her. "I'm wishing to be dead, but I can't seem to convince fate to let the bus crash." Her startled gasp, and scurry as she moved away made him smile slightly. He knew it was mean of him, but he didn't want to deal with the probing of his friends, let alone strangers.   
  
The sun was setting, and he tilted his head to watch it through the dirty glass. It had been a good day, really. He'd faced his father, had fun with his friends. Managed to put one in a guilt trip, and had another fight for him.  
  
He smiled, his thoughts drifting to Takeru and Hikari. He was waiting for them to tell him they were going out. They were perfect for each other. Two angels, so innocent and sweet. They weren't overly friendly when around the others, but there was an unmistakeable closeness, an indescribable bond between the two. A bond that was likely shared between their brothers, as well. Unlike with the two older siblings, he was unable to actually catch them acting as anything more than friends.  
  
They were the perfect family, the Takaishi-Ishida-Yagami clan. His grin turned wistful as he remembered the crush that he had had on Kari. He had thought her wonderful. So kind, so sweet. The Japanese picture of feminine beauty and grace. Everything that a young boy could want.   
  
And, man, had he wanted her. She had seemed the answer to all his prayers. If he could bring home Ms. Perfection herself, his parents would love him, and the world would be a beautiful place. Then, he had met Takeru, and all his thoughts of normalcy had flown out the window. That had been the first day he accepted that he'd never gain his parent's approval. It had made him mad, having to accept a fate that seemed so cruel.  
  
So, he had bantered with the blonde, and turned him into a rival for the affection of a girl he pretended to lust after. He had seen their closeness, their bond, and it had only made him tremble with fury, at the thought that they were both a goal he couldn't hope to attain.  
  
Then, he had met Ken. The great 'Rocket', with his silky blue tresses, and unreadable indigo eyes. That soccer game, where he had played his hardest in a losing game, had been the biggest event of his life, to that point. He hadn't even minded the loss, another event in itself.  
  
Discovering that that beauty hid the cruelty of the Kaiser had pissed him off to no end, either. It just added to the misery that was his life, another obstacle between him and that ever-elusive contentment that he saw others achieve.   
  
He had cried himself to the point of vomiting, something that only occurs when you force yourself to be miserable. Sure, he could have accepted everything that was thrown his way, but he hadn't wanted to, not then, not ever. With a silent vow, he had promised to work until he had everything that made him happy.  
  
That vow lasted all of a few weeks, until the day they defeated Kimeramon, and he saw the heart behind his nemisis' facade. All thoughts of fighting slipped away, and he realized that the refusal to concede to unhappiness could lead to worse things.  
  
Shaking himself out of his own pity party, he had gone after Ken as soon as was reasonable, which was, to him, a couple more days. He started to pester the boy, trying to convince him that there was a second chance for everyone. He eventually convinced them all, and they became a team, defeating Malomyotismon.   
  
His world crashed around his ears another time, when he realized that his friends didn't need him anymore. He had been so focused on winning, that he had lost the pain, and the loneliness. He had friends, and was even getting along with Jun.   
  
After defeating the virus digimon, everyone separated, trying to find the parts of themselves that they had lost in the battle. Eventually, though, they rebanded, and still hung with each other, including Daisuke. They weren't as close as they had been, but that was normal for all friends in time. They had different lives, dissimilar hobbies that didn't allow for a lot of together time.  
  
Daisuke accepted that. He had soccer, and Chibi, and Ken. They were still really close. Until a year ago, when they started high school. Nobody had time outside of school to spare. Always running this way, running that way. Within the chaos, they let days, then weeks, slide by without communication.  
  
Not that they didn't pick up the telephone every once in a while to say 'hi'. That's why Yamato had been at his house two nights before. They took turns, alternating between friends, so that noone slipped beneath the cracks. He was sure that someplace, there was a calendar of who visited whom, when. Not that he'd seen it, but that someone different popped in, or called, every week. This week, Matt. Last week: Yolei. Next week, probably Kari.  
  
It was nice, in a way. He didn't have to worry that anyone forgot him. They all sent cards or gifts on his birthday, at Christmas. They all got together once a month, and had fun.  
  
He wasn't being ignored, or pushed away.  
  
However, those visits, those brief points of contact? They were all impersonal. They never asked if his life was okay. They never went beyond the surface, trivial things. They weren't deep, 'how is your life' conversations. Just the basics, just the surface.  
  
His surface was fine, dammit! It was everything else that wasn't holding together so well. It was the little things that tore at him, day after day. And it was those 'little things' that they didn't ask about, that they didn't touch on when they talked to him.  
  
It wasn't entirely their fault, either. He could admit that to himself. He knew that they would be there, any one of them, if he wanted to tell them what was going on. He knew that he could tell Tai that he was gay, but he hadn't.  
  
He could have tould Matt that he was suicidal, because he knew the blonde had attempted to take his own life.   
  
Ken would have been there when he needed a place to get away from his parents.  
  
Yolei would have helped him get the money at Christmas time, when he accidently borrowed money from the wrong type of people to buy gifts.  
  
Any of the digidestined would have listened to his problems, and helped him to the best of their abilities. If only -he- had made the first step to ask. He hadn't simply for pride. He didn't want them to realize that the boy who didn't have any worries five years ago, who was convinced that his life was fine the way it was, had slipped into depression.  
  
That was the worst blow. He had faced down a threat to two worlds, and he couldn't face his own insecurities. How embarrassing. So, he took his dignity and pride, and turned his mask to the world, letting it see the boy who knew the world was perfect.  
  
Inside, he broke down a little more each day. His journal was full of foul things, things from a tarnished heart and mind. Thoughts and feelings that he doubted anyone but Ken could understand, and, even then, he couldn't be certain on that score.   
  
The bus slowed to a stop, pulling up to the sidewalk and letting the passengers exit. With a sigh, Daisuke stood up. As he passed the old woman, he paused. He caught the fear in her eyes, and winced inwardly. With a bow, he mumbled in his most apologetic voice. "Gomen. I didn't mean to be so cruel. Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry that I snapped at you."  
  
Without waiting for her reply, he turned away, stepping into the shallow light of the lamppost. The sun was gone, having disappeared over the horizon a while ago. Only two people got off with him, and they went opposite directions in a rushed manner. He watched them go, listening to the bus pull away again. It had been a long day, but he wasn't tired anymore. He tried to think of a place to go, but failed to come up with anything. Home was out. He wasn't certain his father would hold to the agreement of not hitting him.  
  
He sighed, and trudged forward, his shoulders drooping. He didn't get very far when a boisterous voice called from behind. "Daisuke!" He turned to see a purple-haired girl jogging toward him, her mouth curved into a grin.  
  
"Hey, Miyako." He greeted her politely, barely managing a grin.   
  
She looked at him in concern. "Are you okay, Dai-kun?" The emotion he saw in her gaze was genuine worry. Not pity, not fear for himself or her. Just caring. With a sob, he threw his arms around her. They were both surprised by the sudden move, but he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down. "Dai?"  
  
With a quick look around, she returned the embrace, and pulled him back towards an allyway, not wanting the world to witness his breakdown. He followed her movements, not wanting to lose the comfort of his arms. There was no question as to her motives, no doubt in her minds about either of their safety. Just love, and solace.  
  
"Daisuke, what happened?" She hadn't been at school the day before, due to a dentist appointment. She was at a total loss to all that had been revealed.  
  
He spoke into her shoulder, not wanting to lose any contact. "I'm so fucked up, Miyako. I don't know how it happened, but I am."  
  
"Shh." His crying didn't slow down, or quiet. "Tell me about it, Dai. I'm here. Tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Everything!" He pulled away roughly, wiping at his tears with angry swipes. "The world's wrong, Miya! It's twisted on it's axis, and it's all screwed up!"  
  
"Motomiya Daisuke, calm down! I can't help you, if you don't talk to me. I'm your friend, Dai. I'm here. Talk to me." She didn't try to touch him, didn't try to calm him down with soothing words. She spoke sincere truth, offering her ear without judgement.  
  
"My parents hate me, let's start there!" He started pacing, his hands running constantly through his already wild hair. "My father's a bastard who wishes I didn't exist, but hasn't been able to get rid of me, due to our 'familial pride'. What bullshit! My mother cowers down, and Jun...Jun loves me, but can't bring herself to tell him that. I know it, and she knows it. If either of our parents knew, she'd get the same treatment that I do, and I don't want that, 'cuz then she'd hate me, too."  
  
"You're parents are jerks, and they don't deserve you." She encouraged him. Trust Miyako to be on his side, 100% of the way.  
  
"Then, there's this little problem that I have, that the world in general dislikes." He paused, not long enough for her to ask, but with time to look at her. "I'm gay. I like guys. I happen to be in love with one."  
  
The look in his eyes dared her to say something negative. With a smile, she shrugged. "That's okay. You're not the only digi-destined to 'come out'."  
  
"I know that. Tai and Matt took me to lunch today." The memory of that afternoon made him scowl darkly, brows drawn together. "Do you pity me?"  
  
"What?"   
  
"Do you pity me? Feel sorry for me? Would you be my friend, if you didn't really care for me, but you owed me, and felt loyal, and were afraid that I'd hurt myself, or someone else?"  
  
"No!" She growled in frustration, her eyes dark. "I'm friends with you, Dai, because you are smart, loyal, funny, open, honest, shameless, wonderful, cute, warm, and caring. You are a wonderful person, with so much energy! Being around you is like...being at an amusement park, never knowing what new thrill is around the corner. And, even when you turn the corner, and find a boring vendor, it's okay, because there are more corners up ahead."  
  
He looked at her, searching her eyes. A small smile slowly lit his face. "Thanks, Miyako. Thank you very much for that." The tears shimmered in his eyes. He drew in a shuddering breath, trying to keep from breaking down again.   
  
"Come on, let's go to my house. My parents won't mind." She took his hand, and tugged him out of the allyway, and towards her building. In his mind, he compared it to the way that Ken had lead him around earlier, before shoving the thought away.   
  
_______________________  
  
End note: Never assume anything. Just because it looks one way, doesn't mean it will actually be that way. I'm seriously wavering about the end. This should conclude in about three or four more chapters, but no promises. 


	11. Sheltered

Author's note: Since I don't dislike any of the characters, whenever someone pops up, expect them to be nice and caring to the point of OOC-ness. With a few exceptions.   
  
Dislcaimer: Rae doesn't own Digimon, the show, its characters, the company that owns it, its affiliates, and does not recieve a profit for original works of fanfiction.  
  
Warning: Nothing really different from the last...10 chapters. I didn't go with Ep 50 couples at all.  
  
___________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi, couple referencing. No more hints.  
  
Miyako lead him upstairs to her apartment, refusing to let go of his hand at any time. He tried teasing her about it, on the way up in the elevator, but she had turned to him with a serious expression, and said, "You need the contact, Dai."  
  
That had shut him up quickly. He was unable to refute that statement, especially when he knew she was right. There was a craving for the human touch within him. Deep down, he needed to be held, and they both knew it. They also knew that Miyako couldn't give him all the comfort he needed.  
  
She opened the door, and pulled him inside. "Hi, Momma. Dai's going to stay here, if that's okay. He's gay, so you don't have to worry." So saying, she dragged him to her bedroom.  
  
"Did you have to tell her that?" Dai didn't know whether to laugh at her bluntness, or feel insulted.  
  
"I didn't say it to offend you, Dai. My family is really quite open with its feelings. They won't judge you. And, this way, you can stay here, and not have to go home."  
  
He sighed. "Thanks, Miya. I appreciate your taking me in like this."  
  
"It's no problem. I'm here. That's what friends are for." She shut the door, and leaned against it. "Now, tell me what happened today."  
  
Another sigh, this one defeated. "It didn't really start today. On Thursday, my parents found my diary. It mentioned things like, my sexual preferences, suicide, homicide, and theft. Needless to say, it pushed my dad over the edge. They left to find me. I came home, and Matt and TK came over. They were only there for a couple of minutes, when my parents came home and kicked them out."  
  
"Then what happened?" He sat down at her computer chair, backwards, so he could cross his arms over the back.   
  
"My father made them leave, hit me twice." He gestured to his still swollwen eye, and split lip. "We fought. Friday came, and Takeru and Hikari cornered me. I freaked out a little, and left. When I got home, they followed me, and confronted me. Ken, Kari, Matt, Tai, and TK told me that they'd take me to lunch today. When they were gone, my father had taken my radio. I went into the kitchen, where they were eating, and confronted him. He said something, and I flipped."  
  
He paused, wincing at the memory. "What did you do, then?"  
  
"I grabbed a knife, and pinned him to the floor. I told him how it was going to be, that we would coexist in that house, and he'd respect my friends. Then I went back into my room, and stayed there. I woke up this morning, and Ken came over. Then we joined TK, and Kari and their brothers. We went to lunch, but didn't eat, 'cuz a bully from school decided to target me. Takeru punched him out for me, though." He smiled at her. "He knocked him on his butt, it was cool."  
  
She laughed at the image. "It's hard to see TK blowing up like that. It would have been cool."  
  
"Beyond cool. Anyway, we went to Matt's for icecream, and Ken questioned me. He asked me what was really going on, and stuff. The other's had disappeared into the other rooms, so we were alone. Then we left, and we went to my place, to get my stuff."  
  
"What did your father say?" She asked, when his voice trailed off.  
  
"There was this man there, with his wife. Somebody he works with. Ken pretended that he was my boyfriend, and we had to sit while they interrogated us. Finally, we made it to his place, and he sent me to his room to lie down. Meanwhile, he told his parents that he was basically going to do anything to keep me from hurting myself, or others."  
  
"Ouch." He looked at her, surprised at her depth of understanding. "To know that a friend is acting out of guilt and fear, especially when those emotions are aimed at you, is hard."  
  
"It really sucks, knowing that he'd go out with me tomorrow, just to keep me from jumping off a cliff, or something stupid. He has so little faith in me, that he actually believes I'm weak enough to do something like that."  
  
"He really does care, though. You have to realize that. Maybe he's just afraid of hurting you to the point where you won't want anything to do with him."  
  
"Then he does't know me very well."  
  
"I doubt any of us do, Dai." He looked at her as she spoke gently. "You have kept so much of yourself hidden from us. Does anyone truly understand what's going on in your life?"   
  
He thought that out, weighing her words. "Your right. I was thinking the same thing on the way here. I've kept to myself, not telling anyone that could help me with what was going on."  
  
They were interrupted by the beeping of Miyako's D-terminal. She frowned at it as she pulled it out of her pocket, and read the message. She typed something in, and put it away again.   
  
"Who was that?" Daisuke was half-afraid of the answer.  
  
"Don't worry, it wasn't Ken. It was from Takeru, telling me that Ken's trying to find you. I told him to tell Ken not to worry, and to go home. I also told him not to send him here."  
  
"Thanks. I don't really want to face him right now." She nodded in agreement, pushing away from the door as she did so. He watched her as she walked to the bed, and sat down on the edge. "What do you think I should do?"  
  
"I think, that first of all, you have to tell everyone what's going on. We all deserve to know, even the older kids. We can call a meeting for tomorrow, and hope that everyone shows."   
  
"Thanks, Miyako. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me, and for being there for me." A knock sounded on the door, and it opened before either one could say a thing. Takeru walked in, blue eyes hard.   
  
"Come in, Takeru." Miyako said, sarcastically. His gaze settled on Daisuke as he shut the door.  
  
"You." It was an accusation. He pulled his hat off, and ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "Dammit, Dai! Why the hell did you run off? Ken's calling everyone from a payphone at the trainstation, because he forgot money. I had to send a message to the others, telling them that you were okay. You scared the hell out of us!"  
  
"Shut up, Takeru!" Miyako intervened. "Ken told his parents that he was afraid of what would happen if he didn't do everything he could for Dai, including pretending to be his boyfriend. Dai ran off, because he didn't want his friend doing something stupid out of guilt and fear."  
  
"Oh." He smiled sheepishly at his friends. "Sorry. After today, and yesterday, I kind of freaked out, not knowing what you were going to do."  
  
"Thanks for the concern, TK." Daisuke accepted the explanation easily. "I'm okay, though, really. Miyako caught me coming off the bus, and is going to let me stay here."  
  
"That's good." He nodded, lookin around uncomfortably. Now that he was out of steam, and yelling at him wasn't necessary, he didn't know what to say. "So, uh. What's new?"  
  
It was a lame question, and they all knew it. Takeru had the grace to blush, but waited for an answer, anyway. Miyako just shook her head sadly, hiding a smile at his awkwardness. Daisuke shrugged, his smile warming at his friend's attempt at conversation.  
  
"Nothing much. Ken told my father off today, in front of a guest. It was rather impressive."   
  
"More impressive than me taking out the punk from today?" Takeru put a hand to his chest in mock-alarm. They all chuckled. "I'm hurt, Dai. There I was, saving you from that creep, risking my life and lunch, and to you it's not enough." He sniffled, looking away and drawing in a shaky breath. Miyako and Daisuke both laughed, and he looked at them out of the corner of his eye. "I'm good, aren't I?" His grin was pure conceit, and only made them laugh louder.  
  
That was the way that Ken found them. He had looked at the message from Takeru, and deduced where Daisuke was. He wanted things to be straight between them as soon as possible. Daisuke happened to look past Takeru, his mirth dying quickly. Miyako caught on, and approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Takeru turned around, putting his hands on his hips. Three pair of eyes waited for Ken to make the next move.  
  
_______________  
  
End note: For some reason, since I've kept writing this, the chapters seem to have gotten longer. I started out with just 6KB stories, but all the ones I've written recently, even the chapters, have approximitaly 10 KB per section. It's really weird. Anyway. I hope that everyone is enjoying this. Poor Ken. It looks like it's 3 to 1.  
  
Also: I don't speak Japanese, or any language outside of English, and Spanish (sparingly). I use the titles of respect, and affection: -san, -chan, -sempai-. -chan=affection -san & -sempai=respect 


	12. Buddy system

Author's note: At present, I'm undecided (ha, ha) about how to end this fic. Ideas/suggestions? raegan_1@hotmail.com  
  
Rrr. Growl.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it.  
  
Warning: What follows is a jumbled mess that I couldn't figure out what to do with. That said, enjoy.  
  
________________________  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Undecided  
Content: Yaoi.  
  
The silence seemed unending. Ken didn't know what to say, now that he'd finally caught up with his friend. How could he explain what he had said in a way that sounded reasonable, without bumbling like he had with his parents. He didn't want to fight with Daisuke, he didn't want to be at odds with him.  
  
But he didn't know what to say to Dai that would make it all better.  
  
Takeru backed away, giving him room to breath and think. The blonde wasn't glaring at him, but the blue iris's were flashing warnings. They seemed to say, 'if you hurt him, you will feel my wrath'. An image of the punk at the restaurant floated through his mind, only to be dismissed.   
  
The look from Miyako's purple eyes appeared to speak the same thing in a gentler tone, along with an added, 'be gentle'. That was a given. They were in this situation because he had wanted to avoid causing Dai pain.  
  
"Stop trying to spare me, Ken." The words coincided with what he had been thinking, and he looked sharply at Daisuke, wondering if he had spoken aloud. Brown eyes looked back at him impatiently.  
  
"Sorry, Dai." He licked his lips.  
  
"For what?" Daisuke encouraged him, much the same as his parents had done earlier.  
  
"For telling them so much, and for not talking to you about it. I made assumptions, and I shouldn't have."  
  
"What kind of assumptions?" Indigo eyes looked at their audience uncertainly.   
  
"For assuming that you'd hurt anybody, especially yourself. For telling my parents that assumption without proof that you would hurt anyone. I'm sorry for upsetting you enough to make you run away."  
  
The redhead nodded, looking sagely at him. "That's a lot to be sorry for." He smiled slightly, a vague sadness in his eyes. "I never asked you to be anything more than my friend, Ken. What you did to my father today was wonderful, but I didn't take anything more from your performance than that appreciation."  
  
Ken coughed, searching for the words. "Then, uh, you don't...I mean, you're not...?" He shrugged, breaking off.   
  
Daisuke laughed. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it." He looked away, seemingly amused.   
  
"Oh." Ken felt something slip through him, and released a pent up breath as he did so. His reaction was close enough to relief that it caused Daisuke to grin wider.   
  
"Geez, Ken. Don't sound so disappointed." Ken blushed, looking away from Dai to face a smirking Miyako.  
  
"Well, now. We've got that out of the way." Takeru rubbed his hands together. "I have to go home. My mom's going away tomorrow, and I'm supposed to be awake when she leaves. Thanks, Miyako, for letting me barge in. Glad to see things working out for you, Dai. Nice to...nevermind. I'll see everyone later." Takeru smiled at them and left.  
  
"Are you coming home with me, Dai?" Ken asked. The redhead looked at Miyako and shook his head.   
  
"Nah. I'm going to stay here, and bug Miya for a while. I'll call you tomorrow. I doubt my father's over today, so I'm going to need a place tomorrow night."  
  
"Sure. Talk to you both later." Ken bowed and left.  
  
The two people left didn't know what to say. They stared at fixtures on the wall, at their nails, anywhere instead of looking at each other. It was an uneasy silence.   
  
"Well." Miyako started.   
  
"So." Daisuke giggled. "That was interesting."  
  
She joined him. "Very. I don't think I've ever seen Ken look so out of place."  
  
"And Takeru, trying to be protective, and blend into the walls at the same time."  
  
"I caught you." He looked at her, confused. He raised an eyebrow in question. "You told me that you loved someone earlier, and meant it, too. That means that you've got the hots for a certain digi-destined male."  
  
"Yeah." He said it simply, seeing no use in denying it.  
  
Her eyes sparkled as she leaned forward, intent on him and his reply. He shook his head. "Come on, Dai! I'll help hook you two up!"  
  
"I don't think that that would be as easy as you make it sound, Miya." His smile faded, his brown eyes losing their twinkle.  
  
"Oh, Dai." She leaned down, wrapping him in a hug.  
  
"I told you, everything's screwed all to hell." He leaned into her gratefully. He could get used to being cared for, with people holding him all day.   
  
"I know, babe, I know. We'll figure something out, okay?" He nodded against her shoulder. "We'll find a way, Dai. I promise." Her hold tightened for just a moment.  
  
"Thanks, Miya." The tears didn't come this time. He had cried the last of them for a while, a fact for which he was thankful. It was hard to disguise the fact that you wept yourself to sleep everynight, especially when your eyes were puffy the next morning.  
  
"Come on, I'll fix you something to eat." She pulled back, and smiled gently at him. His stomach growled at the thought of food, and he grinned sheepishly.  
  
"I'd be grateful. Thanks." While she left for the kitchen, he stole one of her pillows from the bed, and a coverlet from the foot of the bed, and spread them out on the floor. He had no doubt that she wouldn't let him sleep for her chatter, and he was looking forward to the next couple of hours. Miyako was a great one for making people forget their troubles. It was pure luck that she had been the one to find him when he got off the bus.  
  
All in all, it had been a long day.  
  
  
  
It was still early morning whe Dai left Miya's place. He slipped out, not waking anyone. He had been right in thinking that they'd spend most of the night awake. She had finally convinced him to let her help with his love life  
  
She had fallen asleep around two, leaving him to follow suit. Four hours later, he crept out of his makeshift bed, not having slept at all. After putting it all aside, neatly, he had left.  
  
Now, he was on the sidewalk in front of her building, with no clear concept of where to go. The day was still too young to go to Ken's. Home was out of the question. A check of his pockets turned up enough money for a small breakfast. He could go to Ken's around noon, they'd be up and around by that time.  
  
Mustering his determination to make the day into something good, he took a step forward. A hand on his shoulder stopped him, and he turned around in surprise to look into blue eyes. "Hey, Dai."   
  
Takeru grinned at him. "Morning." He faced him fully, a small answering smile lighting his face. "Are you following me?"  
  
The pale face took on an innocent expression. "Who, me? Never." He shook his head in denial, paused, looked away guiltily, and then nodded like a little boy who got caught doing somethin he knew he wasn't supposed to. "Yeah."  
  
They chuckled together over his sillyness, and Takeru withdrew his hand. "What -are- you doing?" Dai asked seriously. Six in the morning was an unusual time to be running errands, or meeting someone.  
  
"Truthfully? I've been waiting for you to make your escape. And I had to see my mom off. I come with offers of breakfast. My treat."   
  
"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" He didn't mean Takeru personally. Between Ken, and Takeru, and the others, he could guess that they'd come up with a system designed to keep him in someone's company. At least, he wouldn't run out of places to stay.  
  
"Never." The blonde agreed with a short, decisive nod. "You're stuck with me."  
  
"Unfortunately, I can think of worse things." Takeru rolled his eyes at the weak insult. "So. Where are you taking me to eat?"  
  
"Still lead by your stomach?" Another flat joke. The air between them was relaxed, no pretensions, no unease. "There's a place just around the corner, where they serve the best breakfast buffet in the world."  
  
"Isn't the point of a buffet so that they don't 'serve' the food?" They started off, bantering easily. It was like old times, with the same level of comfort.   
  
When they reached the restaurant, Takeru paid as he had promised, and they got their food. A corner table was agreed on, towards the back. The place was mostly empty, and only a few, older people occupied the other tables. A waitress wandered back and forth, pouring coffee, and another sat behind a counter, wiping down plates, and counting silverware.  
  
"Nice place." Dai said, eating slowly, and picking at his food.  
  
Takeru was forced to wait before responding. He chewed quickly, not wanting the silence to grow unbearable. The redhead was already fidgeting. "Yeah, it is. My mom always stops here at least once a week, and brings me back takeout." He took a drink of his orange juice, then looked up with another grin. "They also have the best ice cream."  
  
He recieved another chuckle from Dai. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were addicted to the stuff."  
  
"Addicted to ice cream? Nah. I don't really care for the stuff, actually. I got sick on it once, and I can't look at it the same, again. It's like...a gag reflex now."  
  
"Ice cream makes you nauseous? That's just plain sad, man." Dai sighed in commiseration, then peeked at Takeru from beneath his lashes. The blonde shrugged, and dug into his food. Despite his initial hesitant start, Daisuke managed to clear three plates of food before they left. Takeru stopped at two, and had to sit through Dai's last two, while sipping is juice.  
  
By the time they left, it was only seven-thirty. "There's nothing going on this early. We can..." He trailed off, unable to come up with anything.   
  
"You can go home, TZ. I'll be fine on my own." He didn't really want to be alone, but he didn't want his friend to feel obligated to stay with him. Obligation was something he didn't want from his friends.  
  
"Suffer with me, Dai. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not." His grin dimmed a little, and he sounded slightly angry.  
  
"Sorry."   
  
That snapped him out of his thoughts. "For what?" He smiled in confusion. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Dai. I didn't mean that to sound so accusatory, you know. I was simply trying to state the truth. We're friends, and friends hang out. It's normal, and fun, remember?"  
  
"Are you trying to insinuate that I'm not normal?" He asked with fictitious anger.  
  
"Of course. Who wants to be your average, everyday person. Weird people rule!" He yelled loudly, raising his arms, and causing the vendors who were setting up to look at them oddly. Passerby's made a wide arc around them.  
  
Dai laughed at him, unable to control it. Takeru watched him shake with hilarity, an odd light in his blue eyes. "You're too much!"  
  
"Yeah. Isn't it great?" They continued down the street, ignoring the looks they recieved everytime Takeru cracked a joke, or made a scene.   
  
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End note: And now, I've lost all Kensuke fans who are convinced that this is Daikeru, or at least a one-sided Takedai. Hehe. I can neither confirm, nor deny any accusations. I haven't got a clue where this is going. Dai just seemed to need a buddy, and Takeru was handy. And I've managed to go from angst, to fluff, in just a few (or many) chapters. Sorry, angst fans. 


	13. System malfunction

Author's note: Guess what? I think I've managed to recapture the angst! Yeah!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't own any candy companies, either, including M&M's, and Skittles.  
  
Warning: Yaoi  
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When the afternoon arrived, followed by heat and sun, they had hiked through the park, raided the mall, been attacked by stray dogs, and eaten enough ramen to sink a battleship. It was a beautiful beginning to the day.  
  
Somehow, they found themselves on a familiar street, walking towards Hikari's house. Daisuke was following Takeru around, laughing at his anecdotes, and enjoying the camaraderie between them.   
  
They were traveling on the sidewalk, across from the complex that housed the Yagami's apartment, when a well-known voice called out to them, disrupting their current arguement of blue M&M's vs. blue Skittles. It was pointless, anyways, but it kept the silence at bay.  
  
"Takeru, Daisuke!" They looked up at Hikari, waving her arm frantically from across the street. "Guys! Come here!" Takeru started across, his grin widening at the sight of his best friend.   
  
Daisuke hung back. "I'll wait here. I want to ask that vendor how he makes his noodles." He had done that three times already, and Takeru was convinced that his redheaded friend still wanted to run a noodle cart.   
  
"Okay. You'll join us when you're done, right?" He waited for him to nod, then jogged across the street, mindful of the traffic. Daisuke watched him approach the girl.  
  
She spoke animatedly, her hands fluttering as she told him something of obvious importance. Daisuke watched them, forgetting about the vendor for the time being. Takeru seemed to get caught up in her story, and, as Dai looked on, he hugged her, twirling her around.   
  
The world seemed to stop when she leaned down and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his back. Daisuke saw no more. He turned and ran, dodging around the suddenly appearing crowds as he tried to disappear through the park.  
  
Takeru put Hikari down, looking quickly around for Daisuke wanting to judge his reaction to that unexpected kiss. The sidewalk across the road was empty, except for complete strangers. Then he saw, moving rapidly in the opposite direction through the trees, red hair. "Sorry, Kari. Congratulations!" Then he, too, was racing towards the other side of the park.  
  
Daisuke didn't know where he was going, but he had the desperate need to get away. Running had become second nature in the last couple of days, but he didn't care. Escape was imperative at that point.  
  
His breathing ragged, Takeru tried in vain to catch up to his friend. At one point, he tried taking a short cut, and almost lost him completely in the maze of trees. He found his trail again, but hadn't gained more than a few yards.  
  
"Dai-su-ke!" He tried hollering, but he couldn't be sure that he was heard. People on the trail, and children playing stopped to look at the two boys running at full-speed past them. They were both frantic to reach their destination: Escape, and Daisuke.  
  
They exited the park, and turned onto a side street. Takeru saw a beat cop (don't know if there are any in Japan, but 'oh well'). Thinking fast, he yelled. "Stop! Theif!" The officer looked up at them, and intercepted Daisuke, stopping him, and pulling him to the ground.   
  
He didn't struggle, or argue. Instead, he broke into tears, and sobbed, resting his head against the pavement of the road. Takeru caught up, and dropped beside him, fighting for breath. He pulled Dai into his arms, and cradled him, tugging him across his lap. The cop looked at him, but he shook his head, and rocked his body back and forth.  
  
"Dai? Are you okay?" He rubbed his back, uncertain how to soothe him.  
  
The cop was looking at them in suspicion. "What's going on here, young man?"  
  
"Sorry, sir. I needed to catch up with my friend, and it was the first thing I could think of."  
  
"It's a serious offense, young man, accusing a person of theft." With a glare, they were left alone.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dai."  
  
The redhead pushed him away suddenly, causing him to fall backwards. "Fuck you, Takaishi. Just fuck off." He stood up, and walked away. His eyes hadn't been full of tears and pain, but of anger and rage.  
  
Takeru was left on the ground, stunned, as he watched the whole day go up in flames. A short distance away, Dai stopped, and turned back.   
  
"You can keep your friendship, and your jokes, and your nose out of my life. I have no need for them, or you."   
  
"Fine!" He, too, stood up, his own fury taking control. "Whatever, Davis! Who needs you, and your mood swings, and your fuck-upedness, anyway! Go jump off a bridge, and see if I care. I shouldn't have bothered trying, cause you're hopeless! Go wallow in misery, Dai. Have fun."   
  
They stood there, staring at each other, seething in emotion. Dai looked away first, brown eyes moist again. And he thought the tears had stopped. "Do you really believe that?"  
  
The blonde sighed in frustration. "No. I care, and when you push me away, it hurts. You tell me to butt out, and go away, and my first thought is 'what the hell did I do wrong'. I need you to trust me, Dai. I need you to talk to me, so we can help each other."  
  
That earned him a short, mirthless snort. "You don't need my help, TK."  
  
"Yes, I do. Three weeks ago, my mother was in a car accident while on assignment, and couldn't make it home. Who stayed with me, without asking why? Who lets me talk about nothing, without complaining? Who told me I should try out for the tri-school basketball team, even though I was shorter than half the other players?"  
  
"I get the point, but those are little things."  
  
"It's the little things that get you down the most, Dai. It's the trivial things that no-one thinks to ask about that eventually hit you the hardest." Takeru stepped toward him, smiling gently. His words mirrored Dai's thoughts from the day before. "But if it makes you feel better, you help me with some big things, too."  
  
"Like what?" Dai watched him approach, wanting to hear more. It was nice to know that your friends were there for you, but even better to know that they felt that you returned the favor.  
  
He hesitated, blushing slightly. "Well." The distance between them grew shorter, until they were only inches apart. "This, for instance." And he leaned forward, touching his lips to Dai's in a soft kiss.  
  
Daisuke didn't move, not to push him away, or return that small caress. He simply watched Takeru in shocked silence, unsure of how to respond. When he didn't do anything, Takeru pulled back, worry marring his face.  
  
"Dai?" His breath was shuddery, and a feeling of doom assailed him. He had thought that the redhead would respond, kiss him back. Instead, wide brown eyes stared at him in confusion. "Oh, shit." He said it quietly, watching fear replace the confusion.   
  
With a swiftness he could only envy, Dai ran off, again. Takeru watched him go, cursing himself under his breath. He had felt so sure that Daisuke cared for him. All signs seemed to point in that direction.  
  
1) He was gay. 2) He had made it seem as if he wasn't interested in Ken 3) They had spent the whole morning together, talking and laughing. 4) He had reacted badly to seeing Kari kiss him.  
  
"Fuck." He pulled out his D-3, and sent a message to the others, telling them to keep alert for Daisuke. It was the best, and least, that he could do. Somebody had to look after him, since he had a feeling that he'd screwed up majorly..  
  
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End note: Hate me, yet? Yes? Really? That's nice. That was rather sudden, and I'm sorry. It really wasn't supposed to happen, but Takeru seems to have jumped the gun on me. Damn blondes, anyway. Yes, I am one, therefore I can make comments like that. Thank you.  



	14. To begin again

The next person to find him was Jyou. He had slowed to a walk and was still catching his breath when he passed the hospital, where the young man interned. The some-day doctor had been leaving, having started work at midnight. The ER had been busy, and noone could be spared to leave on time.  
  
After recieving the message from Takeru, he hadn't actually expected to find the young redhead, but he figured it was his luck, after being up for twenty-four hours already.  
  
"Motomiya-san?" Brown eyes darted to him quickly, filling with both relief, and dread. "What are you up to?" He tried his best to sound interested, but knew it as a lost cause as the other's eyes flashed.   
  
"Nothing. Excuse me." He made to brush past, not wanting to be yet another charity case to someone else.  
  
"Wait. Daisuke? Please?" That stopped him in his tracks, and forced him to turn around. Jyou'se eyes were compassionate, but not pitying. "I haven't sat down in the longest time. Would you like to have coffee with me?"  
  
He might not have been the most unselfish of the digi-destined, but he wasn't blind. The red of Daisuke's eyes, and the pain they reflected made his heart ache. He regretted his initial desire to let the boy pass.  
  
"Not really, Kido-sempai." He didn't elaborate, didn't offer an excuse.  
  
The blue-haired one persisted. "Why not?"  
  
Searching his mind for a reason, Daisuke found none, and shrugged. He didn't fee like lying to anyone, because that only made things worse. A perfect example was the situation with Ken the day before.  
  
"Good. You don't have a reason, so you can come. I'll even by you a coffee, if you want."  
  
"I don't drink coffee." Dai smiled uncertainly.  
  
"Now's as good a time to start as any." And he walked down the street. Dai followed. They went to a diner halfway between Jyou's and the hospital, and found a window booth. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing." Dai lied, before remembering his thoughts on honesty. "Everything, at this point."  
  
"Wanna talk?" A waiter delivered two cups of steaming coffee, and Jyou wrapped his hands around its warmth.  
  
"Not really." He paused. "Actually, yeah. I spoke with Miya last night, but something new happened, and I don't want to go back to her building." Takeru's building.  
  
"I'm all ears." Jyou offered, studying the boy across the table from him. Not only did he look like he had cried recently, but he also looked as if he hadn't slept well, either. There was an air of sadness and confusion around him, adding to the dispirited look. Putting aside his own problems, he leaned his elbows on the table.  
  
"I should probably start at the beginning, huh?" When the older digi-destined nodded, he began, starting with, "I guess you should know that I'm gay", and ending with, "and I ran away after he kissed me."  
  
Jyou sat through it all, listening quietly, nodding at some points, and frowing at others. When the redhead fell silent, he waited before asking his first question. "Why did you run from Ken? Yes, you were hurt, and offended, but you don't normally run from that."  
  
"I know. I was afraid that if I stayed, it would be too easy to let him handle everything for me. I didn't want him to be responsible for everything, and I didn't want him to pity me, and I didn't want him to be scared of me, and for me."  
  
"And this afternoon with Takeru? Why did you run then? You could have just told him you weren't interested."  
  
"That's actually along the same lines as the Ken thing." He blushed, and Jyou smiled. "I just don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to lose his friendship. At this point I need all the friends I have not to abandon me."  
  
"Why would he do that?"  
  
"Because he thinks I need to feel loved? I think that that kiss was his way of taking care of things. I told you that he hit that guy yesterday, right? And then he spent this whole morning with me? I think that he's trying his best to be as supportive of me as possible, and he thinks that a relationship with him would make me happy. Kind of like Ken."  
  
"I don't think that was ever Ken's intention to let it go that far. He got you out of a sticky situation, and then put his foot in his mouth. If things had progressed naturally, I'm sure that he wouldn't have faked love to keep you from hurting yourself."  
  
"I think you're right, now, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly yesterday. My first instinct was to get away."  
  
"Flight or fight reaction. Apparently, you opt for flight more often than not. You've run away from two of your friends in as many days, for similar reasons."  
  
"What should I do?" Brown eyes searched blue hopefully, and Jyou felt his affection for the boy across the table grow.   
  
"I don't know. Try talking to Takeru. Maybe Miyako has more advice. You can email her. Don't jump to conclusions everytime something new happens. Stick around, and find out exactly what's going on. You said you didn't want Ken and Takeru to have to handle it, and that means that you have to be responsible for yourself, and your actions. No more running away when things get difficult. Start talking the truth, so that the misunderstandings stop."  
  
"You're right, Jyou. Thanks." He stood up, and smiled at the elder. "I'll see you around."  
  
Jyou watched him leave, exiting the diner quickly. Now that he was alone, the fatigue and aches came back to haunt him. He slumped against the booth, and laid his head against the table. Some days, it didn't pay to get out of bed.  
  
  
  
Daisuke, while Jyou wished for a quick and painless end to his suffering, walked back towards Miyako's, determined to find everyone, and start taking control of his life again.   
  
Takeru would come first.   
  
Then Ken, and then all the digi-destined together. Miya was rounding them up for Monday, and that would be soon enough to suit him. His parents could wait, as far as he was concerned. They were last on his list of important people, and he'd be damned before he spoke to them over his friends.  
  
He stopped suddenly, and looked around. Something was wrong. He didn't know what, but the feeling was there, in the back of his mind. His breathing became shallow, and the noises around him were suddenly muted.  
  
The corner he was standing on was close to where Takeru had stopped him, and he wasn't surprised to see that the blonde had left. The coffee with Jyou had taken almost an hour.   
  
He turned in a circle, trying to place the feeling. Fear? Confusion? Doom? "I'm not psychic, dammit." Frustration caused his voice to growl out. Suddenly, his ears popped, and the world returned to normal, leaving him feeling light-headed, and disoriented. He looked up, and his heart stopped in his throat.  
  
The bully from the day before was bearing down on him, with two of his buddies in tow.   
  
The day had gone from bad to worse, again. Everytime he turned around, life seemed to throw another cog in the works for him to deal with, and he was getting tired of it, personally.   
  
To take over his life, he would have to face the obstacles before him. That sounded easy in theory, but facing three brutes, who outweighed, and outnumbered him, was asking too much of anyone.  
  
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the little faggot boy. Where's your protector now, Motomiya?" They grinned at him mockingly, fists clenched, intentions written in the lines of their bodies.  
  
"Sorry, Big and Ugly, but it's only me today. Nobody else is here to whoop your ass." That only caused them to laugh.  
  
"Right, bitch." He took a threatening step forward. "We'll deal with you, and then find your little bitch. Which of your little friends would that be? Takaishi, who thinks he can take me on? Or the girly Ichijouji, who probably begs to be taken by anything with a prick."  
  
Daisuke wanted to charge at him. It wouldn't do good for him if they knew how pissed their trash-talk made him.  
  
"What, no response? Maybe you're too pussy-whipped." Ha, ha. Another good laugh. Daisuke didn't stop himself that time. He clenched his fist, and took a step forward.   
  
"Shut the fuck up!" The one on his left reached out and backhanded him. His head snapped back. His eyes turned cold, and he looked at them as if peering at roaches. "My life. I'm in control. And if I have to overcome the obstacles myself, then that's what I'll do." They laughed again, finding his determination amusing.  
  
"Sure, queer-bait. Overcome this!" The leader swung out with his left hand, and Daisuke only had a moment to react.  
  
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End note: Sorry, not going there today. I couldn't have the fight in this chapter, because you're not going to read about it, only about its outcome. It has some interesting consequences.   
  
  
  



	15. Realizing, maybe too late

Warning: Dai isn't in this chapter. Yaoi, yuri, and lotsa fun stuff. BTW, Joe was just really tired in the last part, that's why he was acting the way he was at the end.   
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Monday rolled through, and the digi-destined each went through their morning routine, except for Tai, who didn't wake up until noon. At lunch time, Miyako, Takeru, and Hikari got together worriedly.  
  
"I haven't seen Dai at all today." Hikari was the first to say it, her eyes concerned.   
  
"Neither have I." The purple-haired girl next to her put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. "But don't worry. He was fine the other day after we had our talk. He'll be okay, I promise."  
  
Takeru sat a little away from them, his blue eyes searching through the crowd of lunch-goers for a pair of goggles nestled in auburn hair. He hadn't spoken during their little exchange, and neither girl knew the events of the day before.  
  
"Takeru?" He snapped back to attention, and realized that they'd been trying to get his attention.  
  
"Sorry. What?"   
  
"I asked what that message was about yesterday." Hikari frowned at him, brown eyes intense. "What's the matter?" She and Miyako were holding hands, looking at him and waiting for his answer.  
  
"Dai and I spent the morning together, yesterday, before he blew up at me. I was talking to him, and had almost calmed him down, when I screwed up, and did something I shouldn't have." He didn't elaborate, just went back to his search of the cafeteria.  
  
Miyako waited patiently for three seconds, then persisted. "What did you do?" Blue slid to violet, guilt and pain mingling. She drew back in sudden understanding, and put a hand on his arm. "Why?"  
  
"I didn't think about it, didn't question if it was the right thing. It was intuition. The situation was perfect, like a setup." He snorted. "A setup for me to take a dive. He didn't do anything until I stopped, and then he ran away from me for all that he was worth."  
  
She tilted her head, and studied him, eyes questioning. "Did he seem offended, or just confused?" It was a difficult question.  
  
He looked up at her, and paused, unable to respond to that. Then, he shrugged, and looked away. "I'm pretty sure that his feelings lie elsewhere."   
  
"Oh, Takeru! Why didn't you talk to me before you did that? Dai and I talked about it the night before." Miyako asked.  
  
"Talked about what?" Tai and Matt sauntered up, attached at the hip and grinning like fools. They were disheveled, and happy, which meant that they had been 'fighting' again.   
  
"That Daisuke's in love, and he was about ready to face that on top of everything else, and then Takeru kissed him, and probably set us back at least a week!" Miyako told them, before the other two could stop her.  
  
"Go, Takeru!" Tai slapped him on the back, and winked at his boyfriend. "It looks like it runs in the family, after all, Yama."  
  
"Shove off, lover." Matt pushed him aside to sit beside his brother. "Did he tell you that he liked you?" The younger blonde shook his head. "Do you like him?"   
  
"You should take your own advice, sweets." Tai pushed between the two blondes, and stopped Takeru from saying anything. He looked at Miyako. "So, does Dai have a thing for our little Takeru?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know."She smiled secretively, and everyone looked at her. The smile widened, until her grin resembled that of the cheshire cat.   
  
"Well?" Tai was the first to grow impatient. She merely giggled, and nestled against Hikari, who shook her head at her in reprimand. He glared at her, then leaned against Matt's side. "This is why I don't date girls. They keep secrets, and think they know everything."  
  
"And you're the reason that I don't date boys. They have no patience, or common sense. Think about it for a moment, and maybe it will come to you." Kari looked at him pointedly, willing him to figure it out.  
  
Miyako chortled, and shook her head. "Boys are so brainless. He's really quite obvious with it, when he's not thinking about it. It's easy to see how much in love he is."  
  
"Love, huh? As in, well and truly taken?" Matt questioned. She nodded at him. "I thought it'd be a while before he moved beyond infatuation with anyone."  
  
"Another Daisuke-misconception." Takeru looked thoughtful.  
  
"There seem to be a lot of them." Hikari sighed, leaning her head on Miyako's shoulder.  
  
"And they all come from his 'friends'." Tai pointed out.  
  
"The ones he helped save the world." Miyako rested her cheek against her girlfriend's.  
  
Takeru looked at them each in turn, and then looked up at the ceiling. "I got mad when I realized that he was keeping all those secrets to himself, but there are so many things that I never told him, things that I didn't think I should tell him. I blamed his distance on him, but that's not true."  
  
"None of us have extended ourselves to be an integral part of his life." Matt sighed. "We have to fix this guys. Before something happens, and we lose our chance to make it right."  
  
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End note: Foreshadowing? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not putting all the junk at the top, unless there's something new. Just apply all disclaimers and warnings to every chapter.  
  
I'm evil, and sadistic. Ask me if I care. raegan_1@hotmail.com 


	16. For Whom the beep alerts

Warning: Yaoi. Taito/Hiyako. Daikeru and Daiken referencing:) And: THE VOTES ARE IN! I'm still not giving it away, though.  
__________________  
  
After school, the team convened at the park in Odaiba, with the exception of Daisuke, who they had yet to see or find. They took up two picnic tables, half on one facing the other half on the opposite table. Takeru, Iori, and Hikari were sitting on the bench, while Tai and Matt, with their arms around each other, sat on the table beside them.  
  
The opposite table held Jyou, Sora, Mimi, Koushiro, and Ken, all sitting on the bench. Miyako was pacing between the two groups, peering at her watch every couple of seconds.   
  
"Miya?" Hikari tried to catch her attention. "Sit down, you're worrying us all."  
  
The purple-haired girl stopped her pacing, and looked at her girlfriend. "He agreed to this meeting, Kari. He should have been here twenty minutes ago!"  
  
"And he's always half an hour late. So, technically, he has ten more minutes." Iori tried to smile at her gently, but she just rolled her eyes and resumed her movements.  
  
The brunette looked down, frowning at is inability to lighten his friends mood. Takeru tapped his shoulder gently and smiled. "He's right, Miyako. Daisuke did agree, and he'll be here, but even you should know better than expect him to be on time."  
  
That earned him a dark look from violet eyes. "And you would know all about his little habits, now wouldn't you, Takeru?" They glared at each other, until Hikari stood up, and wrapped her arms around the taller girl.  
  
"Miya, sit down with me."  
  
"I'm worried. He should have been here already. Nobody saw him in school. What if he did something stupid?" Her purple eyes were near tears, and her breathing was a little hard.  
  
"He wouldn't have." Ken met the questioning gazes that the others sent his way with quiet assurance. "Daisuke's stronger than that."  
  
Mimi glance around at all the dour faces surrounding her, and sighed. "Hey, Miyako, why don't you start without him. He should be here in no time, right? So, you can tell us what's going on, and then he can take over when he arrives."  
  
Beside her, Koushiro nodded in agreement. "We can conserve time, and be ready when he arrives, so that nobody acts in a negative manner. We can prepare for him, and whatever he tells us."  
  
She thought about that, and pulled back from Hikari with a gentle smile. "This is actually the easy part. The hard part is going to be talking to him when you know everything." Eight pair of eyes were steady on her. Ken and Takeru were both studying the ground. "I can only tell this from my point of veiw, so beware, I'm missing some parts."  
  
They all waited, watching her patiently as she resumed her pacing. With a deep sigh, she started, compiling three days worth of discoveries into ten minutes, leaving out the declaration of his love. Then she looked at Takeru.  
  
"I don't know what happened after he left my house, but he ended up with Takeru." The look she gave him was pointed, and he nodded in acknoweledgment that he was to take over.  
  
He stayed where he was, and looked down at his hands, leaning back against the edge of the table. "My mom had to leave early the next day, and I had just said goodbye to her, when Dai slipped outside. I decided to make sure he was okay, by staying with him all day. I told him the same thing. We had breakfast, and walked around all morning, just talking, and laughing. After lunch, we passed Kari's and she called me over to tell me that she had gotten the courage to ask Miya out when Tai and Matt admitted their relationship."  
  
The couples grinned at him from the end of the table. He continued. "I hugged her, and she kissed me, in a friendly manner, because she was so happy, and we're really close. Dai ran off, and I gave chase. We ended up on a side street, and I stopped him." He didn't mention how. "He was crying, and I tried to comfort him, but he pulled away, and we yelled, and then I told him a couple things, and kissed him. It was a huge misunderstanding. He ran again."  
  
Complete silence from the group. They held their collective breaths, uncertain as to how to respond to that.   
  
Finally, Koushiro looked at Ken. "Personally, I'm surprised. I always assumed that if someone would approach him like that, it would be you, simply because of the fact that you guys are so very close."  
  
Some of the others nodded, and the genius blushed, looking away. Takeru looked up, and amethyst eyes met azure. They assessed each other for a moment, while the others sat in silence.   
  
They all wanted to help, but it was hard, because nobody really knew Daisuke that well, except Ken and Miyako, and they'd had their turn to screw things up, in his case, or fix them, in hers.  
  
A beeping broke the stillness, and then was joined by a cacophany of beeps, coming from the D-terminals that they all carried. They all looked at the same message, written on the little screen, and then at each other. Nobody moved, and then Ken and Takeru stood up, and started running together. The others were quick to follow, running towards assorted vehicles, and jumping in.   
  
Miyako looked down at her D-3 as she sat in the back of Tai's car. //Changed meeting site. Come to hospital. Third floor, room 342. DM//  
  
_______________________________  
  
End note: Aren't I evil? Wait, I've already asked that question! Don't you hate me?...I alread did that one, too. Damn. That sucks! 


	17. Four weddings, and a funeral...

Title: Four weddings and a funeral...or what happens when I can't think of one, and want to piss people off.  
  
Warning: I did not give anyone a religion. If they say something along those lines, and it's followed by an exlamation point, that means it's just an exlamatory statement, not made in a religious context. And, this is the longest chapter of this story, so far. BTW: I do not own any beverage franchise's real, or imagined. I use the names without permission of the copyright owners, and I do it with no profit.  
_________________________________________  
  
  
Daisuke sat in a chair by the window, dressed in his normal street clothes. He had been checked in for observation, and they said that he was free to go, as soon as his parents got there. His first reaction? He had put a message through to the others.  
  
He figured that if he had ever needed his friends, that would be the time. He was sore, and in pain. His whole body felt like a giant wound. His movements were slow, and slugggish, and it had taken him nearly five minutes to type out the short message on his D-3, because his hands were shaking so badly.  
  
The doctors had kept him overnight, not bothering to search through his belongings for his home number. It wasn't until Monday afternoon that the police had asked for his personal information. An hour later, the doctor said that he was calling his parents. And now, it was only a matter of seeing who would get there first.  
  
He had had a long chance to think while laying in the hospital bed. The thing was comfortable, but he hadn't been able to sleep. He hadn't slept in nearly thirty-six hours. Maybe he could blame his actions of the previous day on that.  
  
Keeping the promise to his father, he had told them that the black eye he still sported, and the split lip were the result of an earlier fight. No need to piss the old man off, if he got there before his friends.  
  
A thought flashed briefly throug his mind, and he closed his eyes. Would they actually show? Or would they decide that he was too much trouble? His best friend tried to help him, and he ran. Takeru reached out to him, and he ran. He had been a coward.  
  
He hadn't run from the bully. He felt along the left side of his face, and winced. It was swollen and sore. His whole body was a massive bruise, and it hurt to move. Underneath the pain though, was a satisfaction. He had stood his ground. His life was his own.  
  
The first time they hit him, they attaced at once. That was where most of his injuries came from.  
  
After that, they had attacked him one at a time, and that was their mistake. The leader started, and grew pissed each time Dai ducked under his arm, or dodged him. Then, he made the colossal mistake that ended up costing him the fight.  
  
He had pulled a knife out, and waved it in the air. "When we're done with you, bitch, we're going to go find Takaishi, and fuck him over, since he seems to want to play the protecter to dick-licker, here. Then, we're going to cut him up into little bitty pieces."   
  
They had laughed, ignoring the unnatural way his body had stilled as he looked at them.   
  
That was the last thing he remembered, before waking up in the ambulance. According to witnesses, it was in self-defense. Dai had waited for him to swing the knife his way, and then had jumped on him, pounding away with his fists as if he'd never stop.   
  
The police had already been there, and spoken with him, asking him questions. He'd answered them all from within his daze.  
  
He had put the leader into Intensive Care, with massive head trauma, and the other two, when they tried to help, and gotten the crap kicked out of them. But it was ruled self-defense. The police didn't even bother trying to arrest him, not in the condition he was in when they found him.  
  
There was no doubt that he had needed to defend himself. Along his right side was a bandage, to cover the wound where the knive had slid past, and dug under his skin. It wasn't deep, but it enough to sting, and be uncomfortable.  
  
The same thought ran around in his head, chasing itself around the others that jumbled in his mind.  
  
His life was his own. He was in control.  
  
"Daisuke!" Ken ran into the room, and crossed to the chair instantly. He kneeled in front of him, and looked up, his breathing ragged. He had gotten a ride with Jyou, and had run from the front entrance to his room. "Are you okay?"  
  
Daisuke smiled, but was interrupted before he could respond.  
  
"Dai!" Takeru burst in, his rapid breath a match for Ken's. He'd ridden with Matt and Tai. He stopped halfway across the room. "Jesus! What happened?"  
  
Blue eyes met brown, and the smile widened on Dai's face. He was stopped from answering again when the others filed into the room, looking worried and scared. "Hey, guys!"   
  
He pushed up from the chair, and Ken stood with him, putting a hand on his arm in support. They looked at him, taking in the cuts and bruises, and the painful way he walked towards them.   
  
Tai cleared his throat, and looked at him. "Did you win?" There was concern in his voice, and in his gaze.  
  
Dai nodded, then wished he hadn't. His head started pounding, but he ignored it. "Yeah. Three against one, and I kicked ass!" He said it with as much enthusiasm as he could manage without moving his jaw to much. Ken and Takeru looked at each other.  
  
Hikari stepped forward, and hugged him awkwardly, trying not to hit a sore spot. Rather difficult, considering the shape his body was in. "I'm glad that you're okay." She pulled back to be replaced by Miyako, then Sora, and then Mimi. To say that he was surprised would have been an understatement.  
  
He sniffled, fighting to gain control of his emotions. "Thanks." It was shaky, but sincere.  
  
"Praise Allah, the boy's in one piece!" Miyako hollered with relief.  
  
"When can we leave?" Matt asked, smiling at him.   
  
"As soon as my parents come and sign me out." He sighed, not wanting to dwell on that moment that would arrive too soon. Catching the look of dread on his face, Iori stepped forward.  
  
"Don't worry, Dai. We'll be here." The younger boy offered him the reassurance, smiling at him.   
  
"Thanks, Iori. I appreciate it. And I appreciate all of you coming down here, to support me." He looked at them, his eyes sparkling from the tears he was holding back.  
  
"I'm just here to kick your ass for being late today." Tai grinned at him, rubbing his fist into the opposite palm. A couple of people chuckled, and they all smiled, however dimly, at the joke.  
  
"What happened?" Ken repeated his earlier question, removing his hand from Dai's elbow.  
  
"The bully from Saturday found me, and brought a couple of friends with him. They were all ready to whoop my ass, when the lead jerk said something that he shouldn't have. I blew up, and that's all I remember before waking up. I blacked out."  
  
"What happened to the bully?" Takeru asked, blue eyes hard. If the creep wasn't in the hospital with Dai, he wouldn't be that long in joining him.  
  
"He's on the fourth floor with a concussion. If my parents go with the police's suggestion, he'll be charged with assualt, and attempted murder."  
  
"What?" Mimi nearly swooned at the word murder. Sora put a reassuring arm around her waist.  
  
"Big and Ugly pulled a knife out, and threatened me, and another person. That's when I blanked out. According to some guy standing nearby, I jumped on him, and beat the living daylights out of him. He said that they didn't touch me after that."  
  
"You took on an armed assailant, one that was nearly double your size, without recalling any of it?" Koushiro asked, black eyes both amazed, and impressed. Dai shrugged, and nodded modestly.   
  
"Actually, three assailants, one armed, all double my height and weight." The redheaded genuis whistled his surprsise.  
  
"Watch out world, Motomiya has impressed Izumi Koushiro!" It was Mimi that teased him gently, her russet eyes dancing with relief and merriment. Nothing could keep her down long.  
  
"Davis." They all turned to face Mr. Motomiya. He looked at them all coldly. "It's time to go. Get whatever things you have here, and lets move." Without another word, he turned, and walked away. The joy that had been in the room was gone, completely disappearing with his arrival.  
  
With a squaring of his shoulders, Takeru stepped out after the older man. Tai and Matt exchanged looks, and then quickly followed, Ken following them, and leaving everyone else confused and depressed. "Let's go, then." Daisuke exited, his shoulders slumped.   
  
The others fell into step behind him, letting him lead the way to the front desk, where Ken, Takeru, Tai, and Matt were having a discussion with his father. As they drew nearer, the conversation seemed to end, and they missed what had gone on.   
  
His father filled out a form on the desk and walked away without addressing him. Matt was holding Tai in his arms, trying to calm him down. Takeru was standing against the wall, his fists clenched, eyes hard. Ken looked at the retreating back with a bleak look.  
  
It was Matt that finally explained it to him. "You'r father said that you're free to do whatever you want. You can pick where you want to stay. My dad's never home, and I have room at my house. The Yagami's won't mind if you stay there. My mom won't mind if you stay at Takeru's. It's up to you."  
  
Ken looked at him, his gaze softening, and turning apologetic. "It's a permanent move."  
  
Everyone started offering their spare rooms, and Miyako even offered her own room, and volunteered to sleep with one of her siblings. He looked at them all, amazed that they were willing to sacrifice their time and space for him. It left him speechless for several minutes, as eleven pairs of eyes waited for his decision.  
  
The urge to cry was strong, and he had to mentally stop himself from biting his lip. "You guys are wonderful. Truly remarkable." Brown eyes glistened as he looked at each of them. "I can't believe that it's taken me this long to figure out how great."  
  
The girls swarmed him again, hugging and crying. He embraced them all. With heartfelt feeling, he took a moment to thank all of them, and send them on their way, until only Takeru, Ken, Tai, Matt, Kari, and Miyako remained. With the exclusion of Miyako, it was back to the original group that the whole mess had started with.  
  
Takeru pushed off from the wall, his anger being pushed down. Daisuke looked at him, and narrowed his eyes. With a look at the blue-haired boy next to him, he teased gently. "You're as bad as Ken." He watched with satisfaction as both blushed.  
  
Tai slung an arm around his sister's shoulders, and grinned at them. "I'm thinking that you three need to settle this out between you. We'll be down in the waiting room." He pulled the girls with him, and Matt followed. Ken turned to smile at him gently, indigo eyes blank of all emotions.  
  
"I should be going soon. If you want to stay with me, we have about five minutes before we have to run to catch the bus. If not, I'll be going now." His tone was nuetral, but he had trouble meeting the redhead's eyes.  
  
"Takeru, give me a moment with Ken, please." Takeru looked at him, and shrugged, walking away. Daisuke smiled at his best friend. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?" Ken frowned in confusion, his eyes questioning.   
  
"For being my best friend. For going through everything for me. For not rubbing it in my face that I wasn't the one you wanted to be with when you didn't know how I felt." Ken looked at him sharply, then looked away with a smile, and a blush.  
  
"You see so much more than I ever thought you did." He looked down the hall at the waiting blonde. "It's him, isn't it?" Daisuke shrugged nonchalantly, as if the whole subject was of no importance. "Maybe you should tell him. After yesterday...yes, he told everyone." Ken answered the surprise written on Dai's face. "After yesterday, I think that the only confusion between any of us, is who you like. Or, at least, it's a riddle for the others."  
  
"Really? When did you figure it out, oh Great One?" Takeru was approaching them again, three cans of soda pop held in his arm. He had visited the vendor machine, and he didn't look happy.  
  
"Damn people. It's a Pepsi machine, but doesn't have a Pepsi in it. It's got diet, and caffeine free, but no regular. Here." He shoved a can of...tea at Ken, and a Mountain Dew at Dai. The other two simply looked at him, then burst out laughing.  
  
"What?" Daisuke just shook his head, and switched Ken cans.   
  
"I've been up for nearly three days with about six hours of sleep. I really don't need the sugar, or the caffeine." Takeru looked at him for a moment, then pulled the newly opened can from his grasp.   
  
"Tea has caffeine." With that, he walked away, Ken snickering at the incredulous expression on Dai's face.  
  
"That was good." The redhead glared at him, then huffed, and walked away from him indignantly. "Sorry, but it was!" They walked in silence for a moment. "You know, I was thinking that we should do that breakfast thing, like you and and Takaishi did."  
  
"Sure, but without the kissing." He said it blandly, his face not betraying any of the mirth captured in his eyes.  
  
"Of course, as long as you promise not to ravish me, either." Ken said cheekily, walking with him toward the blonde in front of them.  
  
"It might be hard, but I think I'll manage." With a quick move, they hugged, Ken initiating the movement.  
  
"Later." They pulled back from each other, and Daisuke jogged to catch up with Takeru.  
  
"Let's go. I'm starving." Takeru grinned at him.  
  
"Of course, TC. We have wonderful friends, you know that?" The evening was cooling off, and the hall was empty.  
  
"Absolutely." They headed for the entrance.  
  
"It's been a crazy couple-a days." He tried again.  
  
"Yes, it has." Daisuke was starting to catch on to the one-sided conversation, and Takeru's lack of response.  
  
"I'm glad things are going to be back to normal."  
  
"It's a good thing." Daisuke looked at him, this teen who had kissed him, and was now attempting to ignore him, without ignoring him.  
  
"The world's going to be flooded by milk, and we're all going to die." That stopped him in his tracks. "Ah, so you're going to join this conversation now, are you?" His brown eyes were challenging.  
  
"Dai, I really hate to break this to you, but in the condition you're in, I could whoop on you without a problem." A single shoulder raised as he passed him, continuing on his way.  
  
"But you wouldn't, cuz you love me." Ken passed the blonde, catching the stunned look on his face.  
  
"It's uncanny, isn't it?" The genius left him standing in the hallway, following his friend, a knowing smirk on his face, leaving the blue-eyed one to wonder at what he'd said.  
__________  
  
End note: For anybody who is wondering, no I cannot count. I think I've misinformed three different people due to this lack in my education, and I'm sorry.  
  
And, Lilas, I was going to wait to upload this, but, like I said, I figured you'd like it before you left. 


	18. On the road again

Tai and Matt were waiting outside. (For the record, they were making out in the trees by the entrance) None of the three younger destined saw them, until Ken heard a giggling, and turned around to investigate. Tai stepped onto the pavement behind Daisuke, at the same time that Takeru exited the hospital.  
  
"That took long enough." He reprimanded them, straightening his oddly mussed clothes. Matt was still hidden behind one of the bushes.  
  
"Actually, I would say that that didn't take nearly long enough." Takeru mouthed off, moving pass the brunette. Tai blushed, and they could hear Matt giggling. "You know, I almost wish that Dai hadn't let the cat out about you two. Since he did, you've made out just about every place possible."  
  
Stepping out beside his boyfriend, Yamato scowled at him. "You're bed's safe. For now. So watch your mouth." The younger blonde blanched at the thought. His brother gave him a derisive smile. "That shut you up."  
  
Tai, taking the musician's hand, looked at him patiently. "You should be nice." With a quick glance at the boy in question, he leaned over and whispered something in Matt's ear, causing the taunting grin to turn to a decided leer.   
  
Blue eyes widened, and he gasped. "What did you guys do?" They didn't answer, just walked toward the waiting car with angelic expressions. "Seriously, guys, what did you do?" The looks of innocence dissolved as they fell into a fit of chuckles. Takeru shrieked in frustration, and took off after them, the three running towards and around the car.  
  
Daisuke and Ken were left to walk together. With a smile aimed at his friends, he talked to Ken. "Am I allowed to pick up my things?" He was refering to his disownment.   
  
"Yeah. They said that you have two weeks. Then everything's going to be dumped in the trash." They got to the car as Tai and Matt jumped into the back, and locked all the doors. They laughed at the angry blonde circling the vehicle. "You can store some of it at my place."  
  
"Thanks. I think I'm going to stay with one of these bozos. They all go to my school, so it would be more convenient." Takeru climbed up on the hood, and then onto the roof of the car. Matt was yelling, Tai convulsed in laughter, hanging halfway into the front of the car. The back door opened. and then the chase reversed.   
  
Brown hair stuck out a windo was Tai rolled it down. "Come on, you two. Plenty of room for all of us."  
  
"Yeah, especially since Takeru's volunteered to walk home!" Matt was by the trunk, watching his brother feint right, then left.  
  
"What a threat, Yamato, since I live a whole six blocks from here." With a sudden thoughtful gaze, Dai looked up at the hospital, only then realizing that he'd been there twice on Sunday. Down the street one way was the diner where he'd had coffee with Jyou, and back the other way, was the side-street where...  
  
"Earth to Dai!" Ken waved a hand in front of his face, bringing the redhead back to the present. "Welcome back." It was a significant reminder.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
_________________  
  
They headed to Tamachi to drop Ken off, Tai, and Matt sitting in the front. The younger three were left to crunch together in the back seat. Daisuke was in the middle, Takeru on his right, behind Tai, Ken on the left behind Matt. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but they had all been in worst positions, and couldn't really complain.  
  
Except for Takeru. "Man, Matt, turn the radio down!" His brother had been kind enough to let him in the car, despite his threat of making him walk home. A glare from the older sibling revealed that he was regretting his leniency.   
  
With a smirk in the rear-view mirror, the blonde reached out, and turned the dial. All the way up.  
  
"Damn it, Yamato!" Takeru's yell fell into the throb of music, decipherable to only Daisuke, who was thrush against his side. He could feel the vibration of the redhead's laughter, and he turned to him with a glare. The brown eyes that met his were slitted in mirth, their sparkle half-covered by long lashes.  
  
Swallowing hard, he looked past him to Ken, who was grinning quietly in the corner, shaking his head. Tai reached out and turned the music down, leaving them in silence for a moment. "It's not bad enough that you fight with my sister over the radio, Takeru. Now you have to fight with my boyfriend, too?"  
  
"You're just pissed because we came out before you two could really get going." They all turned to look at Ken, who was smirking in the back. "What! It's true."   
  
He spoke defensively, his pinks turning pink at the sudden attention. Daisuke laughed out loud. "About time. I knew I'd rub off on you, eventually."  
  
"And that's a good thing, because...?" Blue eyes twinkled in the rearview mirror as Matt turned his attention back to the road.  
  
"Because I'm a wonderful, and amazing human being, and there should be ten thousand more like me, with the same irresistable good looks, and charming ways." He waited for the inevitable laughter, but the simply looked at him, Tai nodding in agreement.   
  
"About time you realized that, too." His idol turned to grin at him, and he felt tears well up again. "Oops. Now look what I've done. Ken, Takeru, cheer him up!"   
  
Ken looked at the blonde. Violet eyes met blue, and the blush disappeared behind another smirk. "Have at it." Daisuke frowned at Ken, and then looked also at the blonde. Takeru met his gaze, inwardly wishing that the door would fall off, and the wind would suck him out of the car.  
________________  
  
When Ken was gone, Tai turned the radio back up to an acceptable volume. Which meant that Matt and he were happy, and Takeru was glaring at the both of them, hoping that he still had his hearing when it was over.   
  
Daisuke turned back to the blonde, and raised an eyebrow. "You have some nerve."  
  
"Excuse me?" Blue eyes turned to him incredously. He might be having trouble hearing over the music, but he had recieved that message loud and clear.  
  
"You heard me, TI. Of all the stupid things you could have pulled, why the hell did you kiss me?" There was no anger in his voice, just exasperation.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Perfect! It just seemed like a good idea at the time!" Defensive now, Takeru crossed his arms and looked away from him. If he had had any doubts before about screwing things up with that kiss, they were gone now. Things were well screweed beyond belief, and now Daisuke seemed bent on rubbing his nose in that fact. "If it makes you feel better, I'd take it back."  
  
"Why would that make me feel better?" Brown eyes were wide with complete shock, leaving the blonde to stare at him in confusion.  
  
"Isn't that what this is about? You don't care for me that way, and you don't want me to get the wrong idea just because you might be staying with me?" He spoke as if it were obvious, but he could tell by the redhead's expression that something wasn't quite right. "Dai?"  
  
Instead of answering his assumption, Daisuke asked a question on his own. "Do you realize, that when you want to be all buddy-buddy again, you call me Davis, but when you're being serious, and trying to really talk to me, you call me Daisuke?"  
  
"Uh, no. I didn't realize that." He blinked, trying to recall how they had gotten onto this topic. "So, you're not mad at me for kissing you?"  
  
"It was a kiss, Takeru, nothing more. Why would it have bothered me?" Brown eyes turned from him to stare straight ahead, and Daisuke shrugged noncommitally. "It's not like you jumped me, or asked for me to fall madly in love with you."   
  
The blonde drew back in reaction to the words, though they were spoken as if they meant nothing. He turned away to look out the window, ignoring the niggling feeling in the back of his mind. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the boy beside him, trying to pinpoint his uneasiness.  
  
Something wasn't right. Daisuke's body was tense, rigidly so, and he refused to look at him. His gaze had drifted to the left, and he had a feeling that he was hiding his face from Tai and Matt in the front seat. On instinct, hoping that he wasn't wrong, he leaned over, making sure that Dai would be able to hear him.  
  
"Maybe I should have tried jumping you, since the kiss didn't bother you." At the word 'jump' Dai had turned around sharply, and their lips were scant centimeters apart when he was done talking. Their breathes mingled for a moment before freezing in their respective chests. They didn't notice the sudden quiet as the engine was cut, as their eyes locked and sucked the other in.  
  
In the front, Tai and Matt had turned around in their seats, their arms resting in their headrests, to watch. The grinned at each other as two head leaned closer in, until their lips were pressed ever so lightly against another.   
  
A tap sounded on the window, and then the door was opened roughly. "Takaishi Takeru!" Four pair of eyes turned to look at a very...angered Mr. Ishida.   
______________  
  
End note: God, does it ever end? Wait until Chapter 20, when I have Ken abducted by aliens. Just to have more angst and drama to a story already overloaded with it.   
  
Oh, yeah. By the way, I am extremely pleased to announce that Alias has accepted my version for Weddings-chapter two. It's cool, and wonderful, and I am so totally please, and Alias is now my hero. So, go read it, both chapters, and tell the world how wonderful they both are (just don't mention the fact that Chapter 1 is better, cuz I'll be crushed, and I'll cry, and you'll read nothing from angst from me for all of...two days.) That said, good day.  
  
  



	19. In the net

His father stepped back from the vehicle, and Takeru got out, looking at him in fear. His brother and Tai followed. Daisuke stayed for a moment, his head in his hands, trying to remember how to breath.  
  
"Dad." He swallowed hard, barely able to meet the blue eyes so like his own. He felt Matt put his hand on his shoulder in support, but didn't turn to look at him. He could feel Tai on his other side, offering his support.  
  
"Takeru. Maybe you could explain to me why your mother called here, wondering if I've seen you? And then you could tell me what you boys are still doing out and about at ten o'clock on a school night."   
  
"Um..."  
  
"We were dropping off a friend of our's, Dad." Matt answered. "What are you doing here?" He gestured to the apartment building that housed the Takaishi side of the family. The Ishida's lived across town.  
  
"I came here to check-up on your brother. Your mother said she called five times, and never got an answer, so she called me. When I told her that you weren't home, she freaked out, and started lecturing me over the phone. I finally told her I'd come over here, and see what's going on." He paused for a moment, and then looked slyly at his younger son. "And now that I've seen, I think I'll go home, and try to forget."  
  
"Um..." Takeru was still at a loss for words. Matt gave him an annoyed glance as Daisuke finally joined them, his face rather pale. He was obviously expecting another confrontation, and wasn't feeling up for it.  
  
"Daisuke's going to be staying over here for a while, Dad. His parents have kind of...disowned him, and we all thought that it would be easier for him to stay with Takeru, since they both go to the same school, and all."  
  
"Ishida-san." Daisuke bowed low, his voice quiet.  
  
"Your the Motomiya boy, aren't you? Your sister is the one that was stalking Matt?" The red-hair bobbed in affirmation. "I hope that you aren't that persistent when your feelings are unwanted." He spoke in a friendly, joking fashion, and his sons and Tai knew that he meant no offense, or underlying meaning, but the words dug into Daisuke, and he just nodded again. "Good, then. I'll leave you boys alone. Yamato, you can stay here tonight, and I'll cover it with Tai's parents, if you like?"  
  
"Not really, Dad." Tai elbowed him in the ribs, and gave him a look. Matt gritted his teeth, but it was already too late.  
  
"Okay, then. I'll see you at home in a little while. Bye, son." He awkwardly patted Takeru's shoulder, then held out his hand to Daisuke. "Please to meet you, Daisuke. Take good care of my boy while his mother's away, 'kay?"  
  
"See ya, Dad." Takeru waved his father away, then turned to send his brother and Tai on their way.   
  
"Don't even try it." Matt gave him a knowing leer, and then went to apologize to Tai, who was sulking at the missed opportunity to be together. Takeru shrugged, and then turned to Daisuke, who had wandered closer to the sidewalk, his body embraced by shadows.  
  
"Hey." He spoke uncertainly, not quite sure what had almost happened, or why the redhead seemed to have withdrawn into himself. "Why don't we go up, and leave the love-birds to make up, and go home? We can set up a place for you to sleep, and settle down for the night. Tomorrow, you can borrow some of my clothes, and we can go to your place after school for your things."  
  
"Sounds like you have it all planned." Brown eyes looked up scornfully. "Since you seem to have it all figured out, why don't you tell me how long I'll be staying here."  
  
"Davis, I hate to tell you this, but your starting to have more mood swings than a pregnant woman during Menopause." Blue eyes looked at him hard. His attention was momentarily diverted by a car horn. It was Matt and Tai, pulling away. Then he flicked his gaze back to the boy in front of him. "What's up now?"  
  
"You do realize that Menopause is normally the phase in a woman's life where she loses the ability to bare children, right?"   
  
"You are aware that it's rude to answer a question with another question, right?" Takeru was getting sick of the games, not to mention a major headache from the constant loop-de-loop he seemed to ride whenever with Daisuke.  
  
"Sorry." He cringed at the meekness of the other boy's tone.  
  
"Don't be." He paused, and then took a step closer. "What's the matter, Dai? Why do you constantly push me away? Why do you keep changing the subject when I try to talk to you. I'm not Ken, I don't have this magical gift of making you talk. I can't be Miyako, and almost able to read your mind. I'm not smart enough to read between the lines. I know that something's wrong, and you said that you would talk to me, but you don't. And I'm not smart enough to figure out why."  
  
"I'm getting tired of running away, TL." He ran a hand through his dark hair, the movements of his body barely visual in the deep shadows he was standing in.   
  
"Then stop." Takeru wanted to reach out, and hug him, to comfort him and assure him that the world was okay. Except, they both knew that that was a lie. The world was screwed up, and everyone in it.  
  
"I ran from Ken because I used to have a crush on him." It broke the stillness of the night with it's abrubtness, and Takeru felt the bottom drop out of his world. Daisuke went on before he could say anything. "Because, even though I didn't care deeply for him, there was still the hope that he felt -that- way toward me, and he'd make everything better. I didn't want to have to do this on my own."  
  
"You're not on your own, Dai. I'm here, and so are the others." He was getting really tired of having to remind him of that.  
  
"You don't understand."  
  
"Then tell me. Stop running."  
  
"I needed somebody to love me." A shaky breath. "I needed something to fill the void that should have been filled by my family, but wasn't. Jun finally gave me that. Then, I wanted real friends, because I could feel the gap between myself, and the rest of you. You guys gave me that back. And then, I needed someone to love me, for me. Not because I was there friend, and not as a friend. Not family, beyond that."  
  
Not knowing what to say, Takeru remained silent, simply waiting for him to continue.  
  
"I thought that, maybe if Ken loved me, I could try to love him back. I tried, but I couldn't. Then, to find out that he didn't feel that way toward me...I don't know. It felt like I failed. Like I couldn't really be loved that way. Like, maybe I wasn't good enough."  
  
He knew that Daisuke was definitely crying by that time. He could hear the ragged breathing, and see the shaking in his shoulders. "Then why did you run from me?"  
  
"BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! You were, and are, and always have been, an angel. You and Kari both. You're on a pedestal, 'Keru. Ken...Ken was fallen. He climbed down from his pedestal, and became human, and I could feel his heartbeat. It was supposed to be Ken."   
  
Takeru felt like crying himself. "And where does that leave me?" He hated the traitorous sound of his own voice, its weak quality.  
  
"That depends. Where do you want to be?" He stepped out of the shadows, his face streaked by tears, his eyes rimmed red. He pointed up at the building. "There?" He swept his arm out, encompassing all of Odaiba. "Here?"   
  
Brown eyes met blue, and Takeru shrugged helplessly, his own tears slipping free. "What if I said here?" He placed a hand on Daisuke's chest, over his pounding heart. They stood, staring at each other with the moon overhead half full, and the stars winking at them from the heavens. And Miyako in the shadows by the door, waiting for the answer that she already knew.  
  
_____________________  
  
End note: Well, I think I'll do my last 'clean it up, and make it happy' chapter, and call it quits. Just because I know you all care, I would like you all to know, that when filing this onto my floppy disks, I started numbering it, a.k.a. 'undecided1' and 'undecided2'. After 9, I started using alphabets. Since the last chapter is 'undecidedk' (that's the next one) I thought that it would be fitting, since Ken lost, that it should be his first initial that ends 'The Fic That Took Too Long'.   
  
Beware, there will probaly be anst galore, since I write it so well *smirks*  
  
Also, I would like to apologize to anyone that was offended by the pregnancy/menopause crack. I'm sorry. 


	20. Not Takedai, so not sorry

Author's note: I just want everyone to know that it's not Takedai. It was, before, but I just couldn't do that, and keep it true. There will be moments, but...just read it.  
_______________________  
  
  
"Then you're lying." Daisuke drew back, again, but not completely into the shadows. "You're supposed to be with Kari, remember? Two angels? I saw you two kiss."  
  
"That would be rather difficult, Dai, since Kari's mine." The violet girl stepped into the pool of light so that they could see her.  
  
"What?" He sounded shocked.   
  
"Hikari's mine. She asked me out yesterday. Whichi is why she and Takeru kissed, briefly." She stopped so that there was an undisturbed line of sight between both boys, but that they could watch her, and the other, at the same time. "It's time, Dai. To end this."  
  
His shoulders slumped even more, the movement followed by a long, tired sigh. "You said you'd help."  
  
"That's what I'm here for, Dai. To help you now." Her smile was gentle and reassuring. "But I really think that you should do this yourself."  
  
"Take control." He looked at her with resignation, then at Takeru. "It's my life, and I run it."  
  
"Then what do you want, Dai? I'm here to help you get it, too." He made the offer, ignoring the twinge he felt at the smile on Dai's face.   
  
The redhead held out his hand, and stepped forward. "Thank you, TR." The blonde held out his hand, his expression belying the fact that he was weary to do so. Their palms connected, and he felt the tan one close over his own.  
  
He was pulled foward, and his body crashed into Dai's at the same time that the other boy's lips met his own. He closed his shocked eyes as the pressure continued, growing more intense as a tongue slid across his still closed lips. He opened his lips, and felt that tongue invade his mouth, rubbing against his own, learning the structure and contour of his mouth.  
  
When Dai pulled back, Takeru was lightheaded, but whether from the kiss, or the lack of oxygen he didn't know. He looked at the flushed, tan face in front of him with amazement. His jaw worked, but his throat refused to make any sound.  
  
Brown eyes blinked open, their color glazed over. Dai's lips twitched, and he let them curve into a smile. He looked at Miyako, who was grinning at them. "I'm going home, now. It's almost eleven. Have fun, guys."  
  
"Mmm." Daisuke set his forehead against Takeru's, not meeting his gaze, not talking. His eyes were closed again, and he seemed content to stand there, his hands on the blonde's shoulder, where they had crept, their breaths mingling, heartbeats erratic. "Did I tell you that I used to have a thing for Ken?"  
  
That was a good way to ruin the mood. Takeru tried to pull away, but Daisuke refused to let him. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his leaner frame, and tightened his grip. He fairly snarled his reply. "No, I didn't."  
  
"Didn't think so. Do you know why I stopped?" Silence. "Because Ken was too close to me. I was his only true friend, before everyone else accepted him completely. It was basically just him and I, because the rest of yo-...them didn't really care for me, either. That crush, however, ended over a year ago."  
  
"Really?" Pale arms moved around Daisuke's waist. He moved his head so that it rested on his shoulder, and stood inhaling the scent that was Daisuke.  
  
"Yeah. Because I realized, as odd as this may sound, that Ken would be seme." Daisuke mimicked his movements, kissing his neck softly as he spoke.  
  
"What?" He froze.  
  
"He likes to be in charge. He wants to be in control of his life. I respect that. Hell, I encourage that. But we would never work in a relationship."  
  
"Why?" He missed the grin that his inquiry recieved.   
  
Two hands reached down, and pulled their hips together, as Daisuke straigthened enough to look into his eyes. "Because, first of all, I'm seme. Second, I realized that we were more like brothers, and that's what Ken needed from me more than anything. He needed my friendship, not my love."   
  
"Then what do you need?"  
  
"I need someone who knows when there's something wrong, and acts on it, instead of letting me get around to telling them, some day. Someone who will defend me from bullies, and thrash me without hesitation. Someone with patience." His eyes dimmed for a moment. "I need some one who will keep me from feeling sorry for myself, and who can pull me out of my pity. Strength, loyalty, fidelity, honor, love, affection, courage."  
  
"That's quite a list." Open hour with Daisuke. They smiled at each other.  
  
"Yeah, well." Daisuke dropped his arms, and tried to move away. He was prevented from doing so by the arms still wrapped around him. "I'm quite a catch."  
  
Two hands on his ass drew him back into the blonde's body. "Too late. You're stuck with me."  
  
"Who says?" He rested his hands on his shoulders.  
  
"Says your ukimi." Pale hands moved up his back, and pulled him in closer.  
  
"Really? Isn't it normally the seme that decides?" Two tanned arms crossed behind his lower back, bringing their bodies in flush.  
  
"But you did decide. That's why I'm -your- ukimi." Lips caressed a brown neck, a pink tongue darting out to taste the dark skin.  
  
Instead of another comeback, Daisuke pulled back roughly, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him into the building.   
  
"Why the rush?" Takeru grinned as he was guided quickly through the building, and to his apartment.  
  
"We have to prove that you really are my uke, and not just saying that with the intention of being seme later."  
  
"But I want to try seme, too." The redhead stopped, and looked at him. "Please?"  
  
He laughed, pulling the lighter boy to him again. "You know, the other day, when you came to my house, with Kari, and Matt, and Ken? And you were being all macho and mean?"  
  
"Yeah?" He was confused as to what that had to do with anything.  
  
A grin split the sun-kissed face. "I think we can arrange for you to be seme."  
  
__________  
  
End note: See? No more angst. I just couldn't bring myself to write it that way. Oh, well. Hope you enjoyed the cheap fluff for what it was. And, I was right. It wasn't Takedai, it was Daikeru.  
  



End file.
